What Is Gender Based Violence

Gender-based violence is a phenomenon that is growing worldwide. In general terms, one would expect that gender-based violence would be rife in developing countries. It is true. But, what is shocking is that it is also rife in developed countries.

It is significant that as early as 1993 the UN adopted a resolution that defines gender-based violence as “Any act of gender violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm to women or men, including threats to such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivations of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life”.

This is a mouthful and very technically of nature. But, the World Health Organization was able to provide a more straight forwarded and understandable definition of gender-based violence namely, it is violence directed against a person on the basis of gender or sex. It includes acts that inflict physical, mental or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion and other deprivations of liberty.

The forms of gender-based violence can take on different forms throughout the world and can also be cultural or religious based. The most common forms are:

·         Domestic violence which is common in any country on earth

·         Sexual violence, which may include sexual abuse and rape.

·         Forced prostitution

·         Sexual exploitation of women but especially young girls

·         Female genital mutilation

·         Honour killings

·         Human trafficking

·         Forced marriage

·         Widow cleansing

Here are some disturbing facts relating to gender-based violence:

v  Men are guiltier of acts of gender-based violence than women are but men are also victims thereof. It seems men suffering from domestic violence are also growing, or maybe it was always there. May be men are nowadays more likely to disclose such incidents than previously

v  Women and girls are the most frequent victims of violence within the confinements of families or between intimates

v  Women and girls are most at risk from men they know. Recent years also brought forward in all its ugliness the phenomenon of date-rape

v  Wife abuse and sexual coercion cross-cuts cultural, economic  and religious barriers

v  Physical abuse in intimate relationships is almost accompanied by severe psychological and verbal abuse and often sexual abuse

v  Believe it or not, but almost universally, the response of professionals and social institutions is to blame the victim

v  Gender-based abuse can have long-term mental and physical health consequences

The physical and mental consequences of gender-based violence are well known but few people realize that it also has far-reaching socio-economic consequences. Participation in the labour force and economic welfare is limited and hampered by violence. The reason is that it leads to decreased production and increased absence from work. It is also significant that many employers are ignorant towards the phenomenon of gender-based violence and does not know how to deal with it. Subsequently many victims of this type of violence lose their jobs due to this ignorance. A subsequent development of a low self-esteem also weakens performance.

However, the indirect costs are also astronomical. The economic cost of gender-based violence totals about $385 million per year in Colombia, Canada. This figure is based on government expenditures only, not counting costs of health, care, child services, housing, legal costs, and court costs.

Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix solution to the problem. It must also be taken into account that any economic recession may aggravate the situation and lead to an escalation of violence, especially domestic violence and forced prostitution.

However, it can be addressed. We do not need violence in our lives because it does not solve any problems.

Let us love one another enough to protect each other.

Daniel

Tips for Planning Meals for the Family

Next time you sit down for a lovely family meal; spare a thought or two for the woman behind the meal.

To ensure at least three meals a day that will suit all taste buds and preferences and still be of nutritional value for the entire family, is not easy.

This article is therefore dedicated to the women who day in and day out, had to cater for the families’ meals and meal plans with some tips to lessen their burden.

1.       Turn menu planning into a family project. Task family members to assist with providing a list of their favourite dishes, then compile menus using these lists. When given a chance to participate, people enjoy their meals more and maybe will complain less.

2.       Perk up your dinners by serving your family a new dish each week if possible. Exchange recipes with friends and neighbours; check food sections of magazines and newspapers and do not forget the many recipe sites and blogs.

3.       Change your meal pattern. Instead of the same old routine – meat, potatoes, and green vegetables for dinner every day – serve a hearty soup, an unusual casserole, or a main-dish salad.

4.       Notice what your family enjoys at restaurants. Consult your recipes and try to create similar dishes at home.

5.       Vary the shape, colours, and textures of vegetables. For example, mashed potatoes make a nice contrast to Brussels sprouts, or green beans to carrots.

6.       To add interest to a soft-textured meal, serve crunchy vegetables or crusty bread.

7.       Serve something other than rice or potatoes to accompany gravies and sauces. Try barley or pasta.

8.       When serving leftover meat or fish, don’t just reheat it. Instead, prepare it in a different form. For example, mince it and shape it into patties, dice it for casseroles, or slice it thin and add it to stir-fry dishes or to a tasty sauce.

Daniel

A Brief Discussion on Reflexology

Give some thought on the tough role your feet have to play. It is amazing the burden they have to carry in relation to their structure. So, occasionally treat them with a nice massage.

Have you ever heard of a tired person saying, “my feet are killing me”? Many times somebody is saying this to make a point of how tired they are. But have you ever give a thought for your feet? If feet could talk, they would probably say, “my owner is killing me.”

The feet are the hardest working entities of a person’s body and by that, it is meant physical working. How many people are not for the entire working day on their feet? – think about the police officer patrolling, a schoolteacher, a prison guard also patrolling, the athlete running the Boston Marathon, etc. So give a thought to your feet also. You take care of your heart, stomach, hands, nails, etc. but what do you do for your feet?

Feet are actually fabulous. Think of their size in relation to the rest of the body and the body’s weight. But luckily, there is something to spoil you feet with to show your appreciation for all their hard work. The answer lies in reflexology. Reflexology is the science of massaging the feet.

The feet are divided into zones, which represent the entire body. Massaging the nerve endings, which are, situated at the bottom of the feet triggers off a response in the body. Thorough stimulation of all reflex areas of the feet stress and tension is reduced. Reflexology is nothing new; it is coming from ancient times when people were still going bare-feet, as shoes were not yet invented. Walking bare-feet caused the reflex areas of the feet been massaged by the uneven and rough surfaces people had to walk on.

With the coming of the new ages and the invention of shoes people realized that they were not that relaxed after a day’s work as previously the case was and that is where reflexology started. Now feet had to be massaged manually and it was realized it did work and that is where therapeutic reflexology came in.

A person skilled in applying reflexology is able to stimulate an entire foot by using special thumb, finger, and hand techniques. This specific pressure and the energy generated by the hands create a physiological response or reflex in the body, which stimulates circulation, nerve connections, and energy pathways that extend from the feet to the rest of the body. This process encourages a state of balance. Although, the aim is to treat tired feet, the entire body is actually treated. Even in their tired state, they still care for the entire body!

With reflexology, the body parts are reflected in miniature detail on the feet, with the front of the body on the soles and the back of the body on the top of the feet. The zones are as follows:

·         The toes reflect the head

·         The balls of the feet reflect the rib cage

·         The fleshy instep of the foot reflects the soft abdomen

·         The firm heel reflects the pelvic bone

·         The ankle bone reflects the hip bone

·         The bony ridge on the inside of the foot reflects the spine

A reflexologist is trained to massage these reflexes using various techniques.

It is actually marvellous to think that the hard working feet represent a microcosm of the entire body and that it is the gateway of treating the entire body. It is a good reason to put your best foot first!

Next time, before you accuse your feet of killing you, thank them for assisting you to keep your body healthy!

Tips for Cleaning Up All Your Clutter

It is human to hoard. People hoard mostly for two reasons; we value earthly possessions and the more we have the happier we are; and we cling to things because there is always the possibility that we may need it sometime or the other.

Sometimes it is a pity that people spend their whole lives collecting things and cling to it for dear life until the day they have to move home. Then it is a traumatic experience to realize all is or was in vain – the majority of your possessions are nothing more than clutter!

Here are some tips to avoid this traumatic experience:

1. Top of the list is to go through your house periodically, eliminating items you no longer want or you no longer use.

2. Always start clearing up the clutter from the outside in. This means that you must take care of the clutter in a room or living area before digging into your storage places.

3. Once you are finished with your living areas work out a schedule to work on each individual storage place. Best is to schedule at least one hour a day for ‘quality’ time of cleaning up. When the hour is finish, stop and continue with other scheduled chores.

4. To ensure that items are genuinely considered and not just rearranged within the storage places, obtain 4 large containers and classify each container with a label of the eventual disposal of each item; for instance ‘for charity’, ‘for garbage’, ‘belongs to someone else’ (children or family) and ‘decision pending’.

5. Within the time scheduled for each day, only tackle a small portion of the storage area and do not empty the storage of all clutter at once. This will lead to chaos and definitely to demotivation to continue.

6.  Many people shun from clearing up clutter because they cannot bear to throw things away. To overcome this, donate it to charity; at least you will feel better because the underprivileged will enjoy it.

As motivation for this dreadful task of cleaning up clutter, the following food for thought: For every item cleaned-up, a vacancy is created for bringing something new into your house!

Book Review: Theodore Boone by John Grisham

How to Ensure the Best Wedding Reception Ever

All of us have seen the movie “Father of the Bride.” (If not, it is a must see.)  The sympathy is with the father who had to cough up for a wedding reception he actually cannot afford and some of the consequences of his endeavours to cut costs are hilarious.

But, have a thought for every bride to be. Every woman always dream of the perfect wedding with the idealistic picture in the mind of how the reception is supposed to be. However, as time arrive for arranging the big day; things can turn out not so idealistic. Things are expensive and irrespective who pays for it; it will always be a tight budget.

Things become crazy and everyone is stressed up wanting everything to be perfect but wondering how to pay for it all. Often you hear people philosophising whether it won’t be better to take all the money that will go into a reception, skip it and invest it in a future house or other asset for the newlyweds. There is even a school of thought that say the guests are the only ones who benefit from a reception.

Whatever the situation may be, a wedding reception does not have to be a nightmare and actually, it is supposed to be a wonderful event and memento for the bride and groom (and for the father of the bride!) 

Here are some tips:

1. A wedding reception should not put you in debt. Debt is not a good way to start a new life with the person you love – then it is better to skip the reception!

2. It is your reception; do not worry about pleasing guests. They are supposed to be there to share in your special day, not to criticize the food or complain about it.

3. Cut all the extras and you cut the expenses. For example, is it genuine necessary to provide each guest with a disposable camera or a small gift as token of appreciation for them attending your wedding?

4. Consider it to have your reception earlier in the day so it won’t be necessary to provide your guests with an expensive dinner. A finger lunch is much cheaper but just as enjoyable.

5. Should you really want to have a late afternoon reception with a dinner then you can still cut some costs by looking for hotel schools or community centres that can provide a good dinner for less. Usually they can provide the entire package (hall, decorations, chairs, tables, etc.) at a special price. You must shop around!

6. Skip the fancy decorations, china and silverware settings. Go for a much cheaper and ordinary setting.

7. There is no need to hire an expensive band or DJ. With modern technology, computers and a decent music centre many students have excellent music skills. They would be eager to do your music for some pocket money.

These are only some tips. Be creative when planning your wedding, reception, and find ways to cut costs. Remember, it is your wedding!

How To Date You Wife

The majority of men spend many hours, days, and even years to date a woman they love. During this period of courtshipping, no stone is left unturned to impress the women of their dreams!

Until they are married. Then, under normal circumstances dating and courtshipping ends there and then. There is no need to stop it. You must keep the spark in your marriage and still show your wife you love here and adore her. But, most importantly that you still care for her.

Here are some tips:

1. Surprise picnic: Many restaurants and catering businesses provide a full picnic service to clients where they provide a picnic basket with all accessories. All you have to do is to provide a blanket, find the ideal picnic spot, and bring your lovely wife. Be adventurous. Do not follow routine and go to your average picnic spot. A man was driving through this upmarket suburb when he saw this mansion with its magnificent gardens and nature surroundings. He stopped and asked permission to bring his wife there for a picnic. The owner was at first reluctant but with a little persuasion he agreed and they had the most wonderful picnic ever!

2. Break-away-weekend: This is always a favourite. Arrange the most perfect break-away-weekend ever. It must be far from the maddening crowd; only you and her. Pack everything for her, arrange a house sitter-cum-baby sitter, pack her overnight bags, and when she returns home from work on the Friday wait for her in the driveway and take her like a knight in shining armour away for the weekend.

3. Camp out in your back-yard: The same scene as the break-away weekend. Take your children to the grandparents or for a sleepover at friends. Put up your tent and arrange for everything. Lock the house for the weekend and wait for her. There in the comfort of your back-yard you can have quality time together.

These three tips can be done, say every three months. But don’t wait too long. Building your marriage and nurturing it is a daily thing. Tell her you love her every day and let it not only be words. Show her you are serious. At least every fortnight, take her out for dinner. No need to be a black-tie occasion. The more informal the more she would appreciate it. Try the fish-and-chipper on the corner – just as good! At least once a week give her flowers. No need for expensive arrangements. One flower picked in your own garden would also be more appreciated. Go out of your way and get the song “I give you a daisy a day dear” and play it to her whenever you have a quiet time together.

Some wise words: 

Listening

Listening and hearing are two different things. When a person is truly listening they not only hear the words, but they feel the emotion behind these words. True communication occurs when someone truly listens and not just hears the words.

How to be a Working Mom and Housewife

Hats off to all working moms. They are a special breed of women! But take it easy!

To be a working mom and housewife is a tall order. Very tall! Not so long ago the role of women was perceived to be that of housewife – to be at home and attending to the typical house chores, bring up children and be prim and proper in waiting for hubby with a nice home cooked meal upon his return from home.

It was inevitable that as society became more enlightened which especially started after the last World War, a change occurred in respect of what the natural role of women should be. It is especially the political and societal movements of specific feminist pressure groups that attributed to the past few decades’ progress in respect of not only women’s rights but also a new look at what their role should be in a relationship – whether through traditional marriage or a formal agreement of living together.

But, what they could never change or foresee was that only women can be the bearers of children. So what now? Even in the most liberal society, a woman will still be a Mom. Will still be responsible to bring up her children to a certain degree. The theorists shrugged their shoulders and said “Ok, let us call them Homemakers. It would sound better than the gender based housewives.”

However, housework is not always a lifetime commitment: many homemakers and Moms, for economic or personal reasons, return to the workplace. Therefore, the dilemma is the dual role women have to fulfil – how to be working mom and housewife.

Working women are under pressure meeting the demands of workplace, family and home.  Here are a few hints that just might help in coping as a woman:

·         It is of utmost importance that you must establish a sound routine of planning your week and day. It is important to prioritize – so ensure you write down the top three things you must do every day. Plan your week in advance. The weekly plan does not need to be very detailed – just address the major must-do-things. In addition, very important – do not forget the must-do-list of the children and hubby!

·         Delete all the trivial or non-essential things from your list. Here is where you have to delegate this non-essential or not so important tasks or chores to the children and hubby, for instance to clean up the lawn of dog poo! The best advice is to always do your most important things first.

·         You must learn to say no. You have to be cruel to be kind. You have planned your week in advance. You are coping with the pressure of two jobs. Do not let anyone interfere with your schedule. If you cannot fit them into your schedule, say NO!

·         Remember, there is no such thing as Super Woman! It is difficult for a perfectionist to accept, but sometimes it would not be possible to finish everything on your task list. Prioritize what has to be done and if you do not get through everything today, tomorrow is another day!

To be a working mom is a blessing and privilege. But never burn yourself out. Take it easy. Take charge. Do not let anybody dictate to you. You must dictate!

Tried and Trusted Tips to Care for Hands and Nails

Every day the hands of a person are at work. The hands are in constant use, often exposed without protection to extremes of weather or immersed in all kinds of liquids and chemicals harmful to the hands and nails.

Housework and gardening damage delicate skin and makes nails brittle, while stress also affects the way hands look. They are a true mirror of a person’s age because there is actually little that can be done to repair the ravages of time if the hands were not cared for on a continuous basis.

Regular grooming and care is essential to keep hands looking youthful and smooth and nails healthy and strong.

Beautiful Hands

For dry hands: Once a week bathe dry, chapped hands in lukewarm olive oil or sunflower oil for 5 minutes at least. Gently massage the oil into the cuticles.

For cracked hands: Rub petroleum jelly into cracked hands. A mixture of equal parts lemon juice, honey and glycerine is also very effective.

For hand massage: Mix one teaspoon of vodka with five teaspoons of lemon juice. Pour the liquid into a cupped palm and massage it over damp hands. Repeat regularly.

For nicotine stains:  Remove nicotine stains from fingers by rubbing the skin with lemon juice. Rinse off after a minute.

For smelly hands: If hands smell of fish, onion or garlic, dip them in milk or rub them with coffee grounds or moist salt.

For chopping vegetables: Before chopping vegetables, rub olive oil into the hands to prevent them from absorbing the smell.

Washing hands: After washing hands, apply massage oil or hand cream. Knead the fingers separately from the tip down, working over the palm and up over the knuckles. Put each hand on a flat surface and repeatedly stroke the back, from the fingertips to the wrist.

Perfect Nails

For brittle nails: Brittle nails and torn cuticles will benefit from a soak in lukewarm almond oil.

For splitting nails: Use oak bark tea to strengthen brittle, splitting nails. Make it by simmering 20g chopped oak bark in 250ml water for 30 minutes. Bathe the nails in the tea. Alternatively, blend ground almonds with lukewarm water to make a finger bathe.

For nail massage: Avocado oil is a rich base oil that can be used on its own as a vitamin-rich massage oil or blended with other oils or creams. Use regularly to coat the nails and massage into the nail beds.

A person’s touch when first shaking hands or just when touching hands is very telling. Hands that are taken care of feel soft and look well-groomed.

Nurture hands and nails; then it can be displayed with pride.

The condition of hands and nails reflect the value people place on caring for themselves. Turn to tried and trusted tips to create a soft skin, strong nails and healthy cuticles.

Walk the streets with safety

World-wide our city streets are roamed by criminals. This article is about the opportunistic street criminal. They are those who take advantage of people on the streets who unwittingly or foolishly offer themselves as targets for this type of street criminal.

 Next time you are on the streets observe your fellow pedestrians how they make it obvious that there is a bulging wallet in the back pocket, or carry their handbags with the zippers or flaps open or the same handbags nonchalantly thrown loosely over their shoulders. Remember, there are career criminals whose job it is to see this could-not-care attitude of pedestrians and then capitalize on it. But it is the same could-not-care people who will cry foul when mugged or robbed or pick-pocketed – then they will blame the authorities for not ensuring sufficient police on the streets.

It is also our responsibility to look after our own safety. Be like the street criminals – always observant and aware of everything that is going on around us and keeping the following tips in mind:

1. When your wallet, handbag or anything else is grabbed, do not resist. The odds are that you can be injured, even seriously, or that your assailant will become more violent through anger, when he is challenged.

2. Do not advertise that you have a large amount of money on you when drawing cash at an ATM or when paying for goods at a shop.  The best is to pay by means of debit cards.

3. Try not to walk alone. Go with a companion and always stay away from deserted places, deserted bus stops, empty parking lots and unlit areas.

4. Be aware of your surroundings and always anticipate the worst. Do not get into an elevator if you do not like the look of a single occupant in the elevator. The same principle applies when you are in the elevator and a suspicious looking person enters on a floor. Without making a scene, get out as if it were your designated floor. When threatened in a moving elevator, do not press the emergency stop. You will be stuck between two floors with a potential attacker – best is to run your hand over the button panel and try to press as many buttons as allowed!

5. Be mentally alert. Visualise yourself in various situations and how you would react and practise this often.

6. Walk against the traffic flow. Should you perceive a threat from an approaching car you can run past it and it will not be possible for the car to speed after you.

7. In today’s world it will be wise to invest in a self-defence course.

In conclusion, it takes a thief to catch a thief. Therefore, become as streetwise as the opportunistic street criminal just waiting for you to open your defences!

Have a Sexy Look

Sometimes you do not have to spend a fortune on beauty products in order to look sexy. All you need is some positive attitude, self-confidence and a giving attention to daily chores.

Here is how:

Always take good care of your teeth. Keep them extra white and shiny ensure that your teeth are healthy.

Just use your favorite jewelry when trying to look sexy; there is no need to buy expensive jewelry.

Nothing does the job better than a red lipstick. Younger women should also use some lip-gloss to sweeten their lips and have that shiny attractive look. Older women should avoid lip-gloss and choose a red lipstick that matches their skin type.

Quitting bad habits like alcohol or smoke will have a tremendous impact on the way you feel and look.

A pair of sunglasses of your choice will give you a mysterious and cute look.

Wear clothes made out of elegant fabrics like silk or cashmere. These fabrics feel good and will boost you self-confidence.

Keep in mind that outer beauty is not all you need. Also, attend to that beautiful inner you. Have the right kind of mindset to look sexy. Feel good about yourself. Remember, what is inside is reflected on the outside. You always have to take good care of your inside and feel good about it in order to achieve an astonishing and sexy look. 

Are you a candidate for burnout?

Burnout is more than just being tired. In most cases of burnout, the body manifests some or other disease because the mind has been overwhelmed and stressed for a long period. This stress build up can happen over months or over years and the results are feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. Burnout is a total physical, mental, and emotional energy drainer.

When you find that your usual stress coping mechanisms are no longer meeting the demands of your daily life, it is a sign that you are depleted and are at high risk of burning out.

Many people confuse exhaustion with burnout. We are all likely to suffer from exhaustion at some point in our lives. Unlike burnout, exhaustion is a physical condition that inadvertently affects your mental state of mind. Most driven people suffer from exhaustion because they want to do more than what the body is capable of. In most cases, exhaustion is caused by factors such as long working hours, being up at night with a sick child, or having an emotionally draining argument. In such instances when the person has enough rest and sleep, preferably over a whole weekend, their energy levels are restored to normal."

On the other hand, the main symptom of burnout is constant and unabated fatigue but it is coupled with feelings of worthlessness, lack of acknowledgement at work or at home, anxiety, and generally being overwhelmed by life's challenges.

Who are candidates for burnout? While just about anybody who feels like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders can suffer from burnout, some people are more prone to it. Usually healthcare workers and police officers who have intense and emotionally charged working environments are very susceptible to burnout because of the continually stressful nature of their work. Candidates for burnout are most frequently people with an A-type personality: ambitious, driven, strive too much for perfection and expect everything to be done their way. These personality types are more susceptible to burnout because they often feel disappointment that they are not rewarded for their efforts.

There is no quick fix when it comes to burnout and treatment is often a multi-pronged approach that involves serious lifestyle changes, such as exercising, changing your diet and intense therapy, or counselling. It is important to get psychological help to enable the brain to form new neurological paths. This adjustment will bring about a different response to the way the person handles situations. Burnout candidates must learn to become pro-active instead of reactive, which results in impulsive behaviour towards challenges and stress that will lead them right back down the burnout route.

Positive self-talk and a positive support structure is an important part of the healing process. It is also important for people in recovery to get fresh air and exercise, and find time and space to recharge their batteries. Depending on your work and your financial situation, this might involve taking a sabbatical or extended sick leave.

The joy of dancing

Dance has been described as a non verbal communication. It is a body language that expresses itself without having said anything. Belle dance, break dance, hip hop or ballroom dance whatever the form all are a way of expressing different emotions and at the same time a good source of entertainment. Dance is an excellent way of conveying your feelings as well as letting out all the emotions buried inside you. It is a good exercise for the body. It keeps your body flexible and fit. Dance is good both for the body and the brain. So why not dance when it is advantageous.

Couples should always indulge into some kind of dance as it is important for them. Dancing for couples is a first-class way to be together, enjoy each others company and at the same time a good technique for exercising. In this busy world couples hardly find time to enjoy each others company especially when it is no more new and fresh. As the time passes by and a relationship grows old the responsibilities grow and couples very comfortable in the company of each other. They let things go as they are, prefer the normal routine of going to work, returning home, eating and going off to sleep with little or no other activity. This kind of routine makes a relationship dreary and desolate since there is no excitement. Dancing is a good option to make a relationship enjoyable.

How to dance when you really don’t know it? Well not a big deal. You do not have to be a perfect dancer. Get some dance videos and practice those steps. Try following the easier steps and once you get them you won’t need the videos. This is because you get into the rhythm and your body becomes flexible and as such you are able to get your own dance steps. If you want to be a perfect dancer then you could join a dance school and become a perfect dancer. If you are not keen in becoming a perfect dancer you can still go for it to get excitement and entertainment in your life. You do not have to go to a dance club as you can create your own dance hall in your house. You do not need much space. Just shift some of the furniture in a corner and make sufficient space to dance. Dancing shoes are not required you can dance bare footed as it is your own house. Then put on some dance music and dance together. Dance in whichever form you feel like. If you feel romantic put on some light music and do the ball dance and if you loaded with to much of energy then go for some bubbly number and dance to the notes.

Dancing in such a manner makes your life thrilling and lively. You do not feel like one of those dull couples who feel that there is no charm left in their married life and are just dragging their life.

Contribute to your own longevity

Everyone wishes longevity and it is in reach of anyone. But it depends solely on yourself. It is also nothing out of the ordinary or rocket science that will ensure longevity.

It is basic things and measures everyone knows about but unfortunately, in spite of our knowledge, ignore these basic things.

Well, here are 10 basic measures or rules to ensure good health and thus longevity:

1. If you are a smoker, stop smoking immediately or follow some course or other interventions available that will assist you to quit smoking. Smoking is one of the biggest causes of preventable illnesses. Do not wait for Health Organisations and Governments to put measures in place, do it now!

2. Look after your weight and maintain a healthy weight. To do this is not difficult. The main ingredient here is pure will power! You can still eat delicious and tasty food and meals in spite of a diet you follow or whilst just generally looking after your weight.

3. Adopt an active life style. Inactivity, linked to the modern age we are living in puts your health at risk; from problems ranging from heart disease to osteoporosis. The good news is that any activity from walking to gardening will help to get you active. To be office bound for 8-10 hours a day is also no excuse for inactivity. There are many exercises you can in your office without breaking out in a sweat.

4. Avoid excessive consumption of alcohol. And we all know, never drink and drive!

5. Fasten your seatbelt every time you drive or ride in a car.

6. There is not one person who can say he does not have stress. Stress is a necessity to drive or motivate us. It is the manner how each individual deal with stress in his life that matters. Medication and especially scheduled medicine is not a solution to stress.

7. Irrespective of your age, regular go for a check-up. It is especially your blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood-sugar levels, prostate (men) and breast-check-up (women) that should be priorities.

8. Learn to control your anger and discharge it appropriately.

9. Manage your time.  Do not allow your employer (except for official working hours) or anyone else to manage or rule your time. This is your responsibility. No one who is chronically overwhelmed by work and chores at home and at work can operate at peak efficiency. Make time for yourself.

10. No man is an island – therefore no one can function if not sociable. Sound relationships with family members, colleagues, friends, etc. have a definite impact on our wellbeing and subsequently our longevity.

These are only a few tips; the list is unlimited but at least it is a start!

The power of a positive self-esteem

They say charity begins at home. Very true. In the same mould it is also very true that respect for other people and their rights begin with the inner-self of each person.

To have respect for other people you must be assertive, have confidence and feel self-assured, have self-respect and also love yourself. All these attributes boil down to one thing: you must have a positive self-esteem.  But, the bad news is that to have a good or positive self-esteem just doesn’t happen nor are you born with it. It needs hard work to get there.

Here are 8 tips or steps to get there:

1. You must accept yourself for what you are and love yourself: Once you have accepted yourself you can start to build on a better you. To love yourself is not a matter of being selfish or being egocentric. It only means that you must care for yourself.

2. It all depends on attitude: Accept the fact that you cannot control everything in life but ensure that you deal with everything with a positive attitude – it must be an attitude of “yes, I can make a difference”.

3. Learn from experience: In life there are many lessons to learn. Decide whether you are going to be a victim or survivor when learning these lessons.

4. It is human to err: It is therefore not whether you will make mistakes – it is inevitable that you will make mistakes. Once again, it is how you will react to these mistakes. Mistakes enrich and ensure personal growth.

5. You are never too old to learn: You will stop to learn the day you die. Learning never ends. Your whole life is a school.  Accept it like that and make sure you pass cum laude!

6. The people you interact with are mirrors of what your personality reflects: Always remember, judge and you will be judged – this means that you must be careful in judging people because they may feel the same way about you as you feel towards them.

7. Listen to yourself: Remember, all the answer you may seek about yourself, is within yourself. Listen to your heart but also listen to your gut feeling.

8. They say no man is an island: This is true but you must make time to have quiet and quality time alone on your own. Meditation is a necessity and you must take stock of your own life.

To have a positive self-esteem is therefore very hard work. But once you have acquired it, you will be on top of the world and Life!

A Good Woman

A good woman is proud. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs.

A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.

A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will at times have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.

A good woman knows her past, understands her present and forces toward the future.

A good woman knows God. She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played with.

A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love.

Author Unknown 

Are You Depressed?

If you experience five or more of these symptoms for more than 2 weeks, or they’re severe enough to interfere with your daily routine, seek professional help:

• A persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased appetite and weight gain
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
• Restlessness or irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms that don’t respond to treatment
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feeling guilty, hopeless, or worthless
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Remember, stress management is important in fighting depression. 

Tips to ensure happiness in your life

©      Compliment the people you love everyday

©      Be the first to say "Hello"

©      Don’t waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them

©      Never give up on anybody; miracles happen

©      Forget the Jones’s

©      Remember someone’s name

©      Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage

©      Be kinder than you have to be

©      Remember, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated

©      Keep your promises

©      Learn to show cheerfulness even when you don’t feel it

©      Leave everything better than you found it

©      Remember that winners do what losers do not want to do

©      When you arrive at your job in the morning, let the first thing you say brighten everyone’s day

©      Do not rain on other people’s parades

©      Live beneath your means

©      Keep some things to yourself and don’t promote havoc by backstabbing people you love

How to manage anger

The most important aspect is that you must allow yourself to feel and be angry.

Suppressed anger can lead to pathological expressions, or the anger can turn inward on yourself, causing sickness or depression. Learn to identify and express your feelings sooner rather than later.

You must know yourself and what triggers anger in you. Set yourself boundaries and manage your anger within those boundaries. Know when to stop.

Work out deep wounds that may come from the past, and what other emotions are tied in, and why. We cannot change the past, but we can change how we feel about it.

With anger also comes forgiveness. We must learn to forgive.by doing so we will have extra energy that we can use more productively, like loving someone. Forgiveness does not mean you condone the behaviour that wounded you, it means let bygones be bygones. Make a list of people you are angry at. Decide on a positive course of action now.

Learn relaxation through meditation, prayer or visualisation.

Change the way you think. You will be overly dramatic when angry. Allow yourself time to let your rational self take over. Logic defeats anger.

Remember that everyone who is engaged in hate is hurting deeply; and as you give, you will receive. 

Women and their personal safety

Paying attention to your personal safety keeps you beautiful—face and body intact and serene—and there can be more in your purse than lipstick to help you fight back if you're attacked by a mugger.

Protecting the purse itself is more a matter of prevention than anything else is. If your purse is clutched to you rather than dangling from a strap, you will be less likely to have someone try to take it from you. If someone does either grab or demand your purse, give it to him; it is not worth risking yourself for whatever is in there!

Women are often at risk for sexual assault either on the street or road or on a date. If you have ever taken a self-defense class, you have probably been surprised at just how competently you can defend yourself once you have some encouragement and little bit of training. If you have not ever taken self-defense, try it: even if you never need to use what you learn, you will gain confidence and strength.

Remember, any would be attacker counts on the fact that, in the face of an attack, many women are overcome by a weird sense of shame, which makes them quiet and submissive. Battered women are the ultimate example of people who are attacked and respond with shame and self-blame, so that they don't want anyone to know what's happening to them. Keeping quiet about being abused means that the abuse continues until the woman gains the strength to leave or until her abuser kills her. On the other hand, women who report abuse to the police often stop being victims. On the street among strangers too, people who run and scream get attention, and very often get help.

Self-defense trainers often say that teaching women techniques to kick, grab, punch the testicles or to claw the eyes of an attacker is all very well, but when push comes to shove, some crime victims freeze and can't use the aggressive fighting techniques covered in their programs. Something in the way women are trained from childhood sometimes prevents us from fighting back as affectively as we can, even when our bodies and our lives are at stake. Overcoming the urge to remain still is a large part of becoming effective at self defense, and part of the information female students receive in personal safety training involves confronting the conflicting emotions we feel when under attack.

Every woman should at least have a can of pepper spray in her purse or readily available. When you are walking alone in the dark or going to your car in an unfamiliar or unsafe place, keeping your hand on your pepper spray is one good tip for crime prevention. Even a hardened attacker cannot fight the vicious stinging of a pepper spray, and every woman, young or old, fragile or strong, can gain the benefit of time to run away and scream for help.

You are beautiful

You are beautiful – yes, you are, although beauty is more than skin-deep. Beauty is unique grace and confidence, a shining light that sparkles through the eyes and smile. It's not what you look like; it's what you project.

Beauty is a subjective quality and a universal perfect beauty is but an abstract concept.

Secretly, we all want to be beautiful and make the best of ourselves. We want to look more beautiful without losing the essence of what makes us uniquely attractive.

Perfect beauty is an elusive concept, but if you can feel good about yourself by enhancing your looks, you may find more joy in your life.

Enjoy the beautiful you and Life!

How to counter insomnia

Keeping your hands busy

Many smokers find the rituals involved with smoking calming and satisfying, and handle cigarettes as a way to feel less self-conscious in public. But of course, there are many alternative things to do with your hands when you quit.

Find other objects to handle - for instance, keep a pen and pad in your pocket or on your desk (pick this up instead and write down your reasons for giving up smoking, or just doodle); hold a real cigarette if the touch is all you miss - but not if handling a cigarette makes you want to light up; don't confuse hunger with the desire to put a cigarette in your mouth - eat regular meals and keep healthy snack foods on hand; and take up a hobby that keeps your hands busy, e.g. painting or wood carving.

What are unhealthy diets?

There is a great deal of controversy about what constitutes an unhealthy diet and how precisely to define ‘junk food’. In general, however, it can be stated that an unhealthy diet is one which does not contain a good balance of all the components of the diet which are necessary to health, or which is eaten in excess of the body’s requirements, or which places a strain on the body’s metabolic system by introducing toxins and chemicals such as preservatives and colouring which interfere with the natural processes of the liver and intestine. Particularly toxic components of many people’s daily diets are tea, coffee, and alcohol.

Both tea and coffee contain caffeine, which is a nervous system stimulant, and which can be habit-forming. Cola-based drinks also contain caffeine, and children in particular can become addicted to them. Alcohol on the other hand is a central nervous system depressant, which exerts its effects by loosening the inhibitions, which usually prevent us from acting in an anti-social fashion. Whether stimulants of depressants, all these agents have two things in common - they all have a rebound effect (hangover) when their effects wear off, which can only be countered by waiting for them to eliminate themselves from the body , or more commonly, taking more of them; secondly, they are harmful to the body’s metabolism, particularly when taken in excess.

Tip: A pleasant and satisfying hot drink can be made by soaking a slice of lemon in hot water and drinking it. Alternatively, herb teas such as rooibos tea, chamomile tea, or hibiscus tea or any of the herbal tea mixtures can be pleasant and refreshing without being toxic to the body.

  The Importance of Protein to the Human Body