How Improve Your Love Life

Here are moves that a woman can make in order to get a man to fall in love with her:   

Become mega-attractive:  Do your best to improve your overall appearance.  Be healthy and fit.  Make sure that your hair, skin, teeth, and nails are appealing.  Ask for professional help in the area of style and dress.  Develop self-confidence and raise your self-esteem by raising the self-esteem of others.  What ultimately attracts or repeals potential mates is your attitude about yourself. 

Find and fix your blind spots:  Get accurate feedback or find a good checklist of things that could reveal your hidden weaknesses.  These are things that are evident to everyone else except you.  Examples of blind spots would include:  bad breath, unpleasant body odor, bad language, poor manners, dishonesty, and excessive gossiping.  Seek out your weaknesses and fix them so they don't taint the positive impression that you're trying to make. 

Master your people skills:  Getting people to like you is the natural by-product of consistently practicing effective people skills: begin in a friendly manner, avoid arguments, make the other person feel important, never tell the other person they are wrong, talk in terms of their interests, give sincere compliments, and don't criticize or complain.

Get good at small talk: Become a master conversationalist by speaking and listening. Have something good to say,  say it well, speak with the appropriate emotion,  know what not to say,  focus more on listening, give him your full attention, offer positive non-verbal feedback, and  help him get into his flow.

Get him to lower his guard: Take the pressure off of any situation by being down-to-earth and adding tasteful humor.  Admit some of your minor mistakes in an effort to make yourself more real in the man's eyes.  Some tasteful teasing may also entice the man to do the same.  

Give him a fresh taste of your best.  Make a favorable impression on a romantic level by showing the "hottie," "sweetie," and "real" sides of your personality.  The "hottie" side means to highlight your sexy, feminine qualities.  The "sweetie" side is the part of you that is caring, kind, warm, and sensitive.  The "real" side of you shows your true character as an all-around decent human being.
 
Your love life can be a frustrating and disappointing experience when you haven't got a clue as to what causes things to happen.  But dating, romance, and love can be wonderful experiences when you learn and grow into a woman who naturally deserves and attains the dreams she desires.

Skincare Tips for Beautiful Women

10 Tips to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

1. Have respect for yourself. Make a list of things about yourself you respect. Think about things you have achieved in your life and compliments people have given you. Keep going until the list is finished.

2. Have a purpose: State your goals. Visualize yourself achieving these goals and how it makes you feel. Determine a period to achieve each goal and the steps needed to achieve it.

3. Take care of your physical appearance. Put on make-up everyday whether you are going out or not. When you look good, you feel better. Pamper yourself with some of the treatments in this eBook to bring out your natural beauty. You will feel a new spring in your step and more confidence to take on daily tasks.

4. Do not avoid problems, solve them and do not dwell on them. Face them head on and get them out of the way as quickly as possible. Once you have solved your problems they are gone for good, put them completely out of your mind. You will feel a sense of accomplishment that will build your self-esteem more every time you do it.

5. Do volunteer work. Nothing will make you feel better than knowing you have helped others who are less fortunate. If you can make someone else, feel better about him or herself it will rub off on you and you will feel better about yourself too.

6. Give yourself positive, encouraging statements. Repeat them constantly and your mind will act on them. Work at feeling good about yourself and become more self-reliant. YOU are a capable person! Do not allow those inner voices to convince you otherwise.

7. Get rid of dependency, guilt, fear and worry and in their place cultivate self-reliance, love, imagination, enthusiasm, a sense of humor and the ability to communicate.

8. Don't allow anxiety, stress and depression to control you. You are better than that!

Believe in yourself and take control of your own feelings.

9. Build your confidence by picturing yourself accomplishing something you have always wanted to do. Close your eyes and see every detail of how you would behave, how you feel about achieving it and how others respond to it. Now put it into action and when you achieve it you will feel elated.

10. Keep a journal. Write down your feelings and thoughts about situations and determine how you could make them better by looking at them in a different way.

You will learn more about yourself and how you react to certain situations so you can stop and turn them around.

 

Tips to boost your self-image

Never let how others think, talk or what they do, It is only you who can define how you choose to love and accept who you are; ignore what other people think or talk about you. Be true to yourself and trust in your own beauty and uniqueness. Spend less time worrying about how another perceives you.

The expectation created by the Media on the beauty and sexiness of a woman is nothing more than a learned behaviour. Throw out all of those so called beauty magazines. Why continue to fall into the Media’s traps of their view on what beauty is.

 Food is not the enemy. The enemy is you allowing the perceptions of others on what healthy or not healthy food are, to dictate to you – you must decide for yourself what to eat and what not to eat.

A positive self-image is vital to our own reflection, as we will never be able to see ourselves through another person’s eyes, only our own.

 The first thing to do in the morning when you wake up is to have a nice stretch – you will feel immensely good. After a good stretch, say to yourself: “I am UNIQUE, I am SPECIAL, and I am STRONG!

Take a long look at yourself in the mirror, the first thing you will see is the imperfections. Do not worry, just keep looking and after a while those imperfections will slowly become a familiar beauty.

Go through your wardrobe and replace all of those way too tight pants and low rise jeans for a style that your body type looks best in.

Embrace your age. Remember it is aging that allows you to continue to grow and experience life.

Spend less time reading negative articles and more time reading positive information that will make you feel good about you.

Get rid of as much stress as you can. You will be surprised at how much better and how much easier it becomes when you remove one stressful thing a day!

Make time for forty winks during the day.  Resting your mind and body is essential in gaining strength to carry you throughout life’s daily challenges.

Make time for exercising.  Feel that adrenaline rush like it fresh water running down your body, draining all the stress.

Take a long bath; it will make you feel more renewed.

Take up meditation. Meditation is a whole new world and a very effective relaxation strategy. You will be able to cleanse the mind through learning relaxation techniques as well as the stress levels.

Make time for reading. Reading is where the mind can subconsciously be freed from the realities that stress us out.

Take a few minutes to pat yourself on your back for the good things that you accomplished today.

Work on balancing all of your emotions. Try to feel more positive than negative about the small stuff.

Be your best friend. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Smile and be you, a very unique you, a very special you.

If you can feel the sunshine and the rain on your face, the wind blow through your hair, you are alive! So live.

Remember that only through your failures can you find success.

When you compare yourself with another, you are in-fact abusing yourself by destructing your own self-worth and self-esteem!

To envy another is a symptom of low self-esteem and solely disrespects your own uniqueness. Envy no one but yourself.

You are what you think you are. How you are thinking right now will determine the outcome of the rest of your day, so think POSITIVE.

Be that beautiful, vibrant woman – you are special, you are truly WOMAN!

Be proud of your womanhood

A woman is a strong and powerful person. She is thoughtful, intuitive, resourceful, sensitive, and creative. When a woman succeeds in bringing all these beautiful qualities together, she feels confident, alive, energetic, assertive and empowered. This is all what womanhood are about. You are woman!

But, a woman is also made up of more than her physical body. She is a highly developed spiritual, emotional and mental qualities and she experiences every moment of her life with her mind, body, spirit and emotions:

Mind: Observe your beautiful, positive thoughts

Body: Observe you’re your beautiful physical appearance

Spirit: Be aware of your spiritual well-being

Emotions: Acknowledge your inner, womanly feelings

Every event in your live is responded to by your mind, body, spirit and emotions. Remember the times in your life when your self-esteem was on a high? Your energy was flowing freely, your mind was thinking positively, you were in touch with your own feelings, you acted assertively and you were aware of your own spirituality.

But, any high self-esteem can change in the wink of an eye into a very low-self-esteem. One minute you are balanced, centred, in control of everything, feeling good about yourself and life! Then down you go, feeling worthless, useless and uncomfortable with yourself. Your energies are out of balance.

Whenever you feel worthless, you are allowing a negative pattern to run your life. A negative pattern is something which creates a low self-esteem by blocking your energy which results in you not feeling balanced and in control.

You can change all the patterns that do not work for you into positive patterns which will support and empower you. But, then you must first become aware of yourself – of your mind, body, spirit and emotions. Self-awareness is the key to self-change and is the mother of self-esteem – self-awareness creates self-esteem.

Building self-esteem is a very personal issue which involves the overcoming of individual obstacles hindering you to believe in yourself.  All this can be done, not spite of being a woman, but because of being a woman!

You are woman, become self-aware, and change your critical negative patterns for others which will offer support and self-esteem. Embrace your power of being a woman by learning to trust yourself. Learn to develop and balance your female energies so that your body, spirit, mind and emotions work in harmony with each other.

You are woman!

How to Feel Good About Yourself

Engage in an exercise program: It will not only tone up your body, you will feel much better about yourself. Any physical activity will be great – even if it is just a 20 minute brisk walking a day.

Change your clothes: Shop for clothes that make you look more lively and cheerful. Choose colors that go well with your skin and hair colour.

Invest in high-quality lingerie: Do not be too worried if it is too risqué. You will feel great when you wear it.  

Spend more time in front of the mirror: Dress up in your favourite outfits and admire your body in front of the mirror. Just because you have small front, it does not mean that you should not look at yourself in the mirror. Notice, in particular, those assets of your body that stand out, whether it is your hair, eyes, or rear.

Read inspirational books to develop your self-esteem.   

Remember, you are woman – be proud!

The power of a positive self-esteem

They say charity begins at home. Very true. In the same mould it is also very true that respect for other people and their rights begin with the inner-self of each person.

To have respect for other people you must be assertive, have confidence and feel self-assured, have self-respect and also love yourself. All these attributes boil down to one thing: you must have a positive self-esteem.  But, the bad news is that to have a good or positive self-esteem just doesn’t happen nor are you born with it. It needs hard work to get there.

Here are 8 tips or steps to get there:

1. You must accept yourself for what you are and love yourself: Once you have accepted yourself you can start to build on a better you. To love yourself is not a matter of being selfish or being egocentric. It only means that you must care for yourself.

2. It all depends on attitude: Accept the fact that you cannot control everything in life but ensure that you deal with everything with a positive attitude – it must be an attitude of “yes, I can make a difference”.

3. Learn from experience: In life there are many lessons to learn. Decide whether you are going to be a victim or survivor when learning these lessons.

4. It is human to err: It is therefore not whether you will make mistakes – it is inevitable that you will make mistakes. Once again, it is how you will react to these mistakes. Mistakes enrich and ensure personal growth.

5. You are never too old to learn: You will stop to learn the day you die. Learning never ends. Your whole life is a school.  Accept it like that and make sure you pass cum laude!

6. The people you interact with are mirrors of what your personality reflects: Always remember, judge and you will be judged – this means that you must be careful in judging people because they may feel the same way about you as you feel towards them.

7. Listen to yourself: Remember, all the answer you may seek about yourself, is within yourself. Listen to your heart but also listen to your gut feeling.

8. They say no man is an island: This is true but you must make time to have quiet and quality time alone on your own. Meditation is a necessity and you must take stock of your own life.

To have a positive self-esteem is therefore very hard work. But once you have acquired it, you will be on top of the world and Life!

Love and relationships

Love is like friendship, but the emotions are far more intense than those we feel for friends. Believing that your partner is extremely important to you, caring and feeling warmth, affection and desire for him or her are all part of loving someone.

Love means taking risks. There is always a danger of being rejected when we grow closer to another person and share our deepest feelings, making ourselves vulnerable. When we need to move forward in our relationships, it might be necessary to try new things or to do things differently. For most of us, this can quite be scary. Although risks do not always work out, they are well worth taking if our relationships are to grow and thrive.

We must encourage our partners to share their feelings and thoughts with us. Love means learning to accept the differences between each other, and respecting each other’s ideas, feelings, and attitudes. There will be times when couples will disagree – this is normal. You will not always admire and approve of what your partner does or say, and you may not always understand him or her.

Love means to allow each other to grow as individuals. You will not always be able to or want to do everything together and should keep some separate interests. Some couples seem to merge into one another, but at risk of losing their individual identities.

Too many are too keen to give in to their partners, just to keep their love! However, unhappiness results when one partner gives too much and is always the one making sacrifices. It is essential to keep a balance between giving and receiving.

Our ability to love and be loved depends on our sense of self-worth and self-esteem. We can only truly love someone else if we love, respect and accept ourselves. If we can strengthen ourselves, we are able to strengthen our relationship with someone.

www.dan-the-bookkeeper.co.za

How to Eliminate Your Self-Doubt

Are these familiar dialogues for you: “I don’t have the nerve to try that!” or “that’s too risky!” or “I’m not sure I can do that” etc? Are you one of those people who always doubt your own ability? Well, you’re not alone. A lot of people do not have confidence in themselves. Every change in the normal way of life gets a ton of introspection and most of the time, self-doubt wins and not trying seems safer. However, safe doesn't always mean best; sooner or later you’ll get depressed always being stuck on a rut. You have to reduce these self-doubts in order to move ahead.

It will help if you can figure out why you feel wimpy all the time. Is it because of a past mistake that crippled you so much? Are you afraid to end up like someone you knew who took too much risk? Were you told often by authority figures – parents, sibling, teachers or officers – that you don’t and can’t amount to anything? You’ve probably heard it so often that you believed it as the universal truth all the time.

Deep down you know it’s not true, right? Not all risks will result into failure and you can avoid making the same mistake your friend did. Silence the inner critic in you then. You don’t have to listen to past criticisms. Nor should you judge all your other abilities based on a single failure. Instead draw on your strengths and keep them in mind. Granted, it’s not going to be easy. But you can take baby steps and not leap into anything that you’re not ready for.

Start by cataloguing your positives. Take out a sheet of paper and list the things that you know you can do. Fill it up from the whimsical – able to juggle four balls in the air, for example – to the downright great ones like a good grasp of grammar. Look back and try to remember how you learned those skills. Some of them were probably inherited or something that you learned instinctively. But the rest were skills that you got only thru experience. Therefore, you must have tried it before and found out that you can do it. That list becomes physical proof that you are someone who can do something and by the same token, can do a lot more if you can just get out of your safety zone and try something new again.

Banish those self-doubts and see how high you can fly.

Right now. I mean it.

Why are you still here?

by Jeff Cohen

The words you use affect relationships and self-esteem

That old phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not really true. Words may not inflict visible bruises like sticks and stones, but they pack a punch nonetheless.

Words injure our insides, our feelings and our self-esteem. External bruises are tangible proof that we’ve been hurt.  Internal bruises from verbal attacks are harder to prove, harder to acknowledge, and harder to talk about. 

Words and how we say them do matter, so it’s very important to be careful how you speak to your partner and others.  The misuse and carelessness of how you speak are two of the main issues that undermine and can eventually destroy a relationship. 

There are many positive and compassionate ways to get your point across to someone you care about.  For example, a judgmental statement such as, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and can’t say anything to my partner without him/her getting upset,” can instead be reframed to “I want to show my partner respect and love by speaking to them with compassion and awareness.”  That doesn’t mean you can’t speak your mind, it just means you’re being respectful and mindful of another person’s feelings and vulnerabilities.  It lets your partner know they’re not a bad person, but you truly want them to hear you.  Use of attacking language, such as “You’re a jerk,” “You always,” “You never…,” is guaranteed to get a negative response from your partner who has no choice but to be react defensively.

When communicating, keep the following four tips in mind:

1.) Use “I” statements.

2.) Have compassion for yourself and your partner.

3.) Listen before you speak.

4.) Speak as you would like to be spoken to.

Another example of reframing negative, judgmental language to positive and compassionate language includes:

Your partner is angry and yells at you for no reason.  You could say, “Shut up, you’re always yelling at me for no reason.  You’re awful!” 

OR you could say:

“It’s not okay to talk to me that way.  I don’t deserve it and it is hurtful.”

Because this is a more neutral and uncharged way of speaking than the first accusatory example, it’s going to be much easier for your partner to hear you, to reply in an understanding manner, and maybe even change his/her behaviour.  You’re speaking your feelings without raking your partner over the coals.

Good communication means expressing your feelings without making another person defensive.  What this ultimately means is taking responsibility for your feelings and expressing them in a way that is clear without blame, shame, or damage.  The goal is to speak with consciousness and awareness.  Remember: When we are compassionate in the way we speak, we can say even the hardest things to someone and still communicate our caring, love, and displeasure – altogether.

Before you speak, remember:

1.) Listen to yourself.

2.) Think about your partner and use words that he/she will understand.

3.) Cool down before you talk.  Don’t talk in the heat of the moment.  Try to express the feelings (hurt, anger, disappointment) that are hiding underneath the shame, blame, self-righteousness and judgment.

4.) Remember you want resolution and peace, not necessarily to be right.

5.) Kindness and compassion go a long way.

By Sharon M Rivkin

My Beautiful Body