The Freelancer: Opinion: Same Sex Marriages

The Freelancer: Opinion: Same Sex Marriages: Introductory note by Author Call me a bigot as I know people will do but it is my right to express my opinion as I honor the rights...

Woman to Woman: All about Mini Skirts

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Woman to Woman: Lovemaking to show love?

Woman to Woman: Lovemaking to show love?: Life after marriage is a little serious as responsibilities start from the day one. With this learning process, love is tightly wrapped ...

Woman to Woman: Physical Problems Men Experience With Sex

Woman to Woman: Physical Problems Men Experience With Sex: Although the majority of male sexual problems are psychologically based, there are a number of physical conditions that can affect your se...

Female Sexuality: Physical Problems for Women

Many women experience sexual problems, particularly with orgasm. A woman may be unable to move from the plateau phase into orgasm, which may be very frustrating. She may be able to climax easily from masturbation, but does not do so because of intercourse.

This is now thought to be perfectly normal, and may in fact apply to a Many women experience sexual problems, particularly with orgasm. A woman may be unable to move from the plateau phase into orgasm, which may be very frustrating. She may be able to climax easily from masturbation, but does not do so because of intercourse.

This is now thought to be perfectly normal, and may in fact apply to a sizeable proportion (a third or more) of all women. Problems with orgasm when with a partner can sometimes be because the women or the partner does not know how best she can be sexually stimulated to the point of climax, and a straightforward sex manual can usually help the couple out of this problem. However, there are a number of physical factors that can lead to sexual problems, and these could be considered before a couple goes on to seek psychological help with any sexual difficulty.

 Libido is the interest in or our need for sex, so it is obviously a prerequisite of enjoyable sexual activity. However, there are a number of simple problems that can lead to a decrease in libido, and these are often easily rectified.

Many women report that they have little interest in sex immediately after the birth of a child. This may be a result of the change in hormone levels during and after pregnancy, but it may also be caused simply by physical tiredness.

The Pill can also reduce libido. This is a relatively uncommon effect, and may be easily solved by a change of Pill, of trying a different kind of contraceptive. Once again, it is they change in hormone levels that is said to be responsible.

The menstrual cycle can be accompanied by changes in the level of sexual interest. This should not present a problem once the woman and her partner have understood and accepted these ebbs and flows and their cyclical changes. A small minority of women, however, will experience loss of libido because of hormone deficiency or imbalance that is quite independent of the menstrual cycle, and this needs treatment.

Physical difficulties with arousal and intercourse can also occur because of pregnancy and childbirth. The vagina may be very tender after giving birth, and intercourse should not be attempted until all stiches have healed completely.

Once vaginal soreness has disappeared, (this may take three weeks or more) intercourse can take place as usual.

Painful intercourse needs medical investigation and treatment, as it may indicate gynaecological problems, such a cysts on the ovaries or an infection inside the uterus. proportion (a third or more) of all women. Problems with orgasm when with a partner can sometimes be because the women or the partner does not know how best she can be sexually stimulated to the point of climax, and a straightforward sex manual can usually help the couple out of this problem. However, there are a number of physical factors that can lead to sexual problems, and these could be considered before a couple goes on to seek psychological help with any sexual difficulty.

 Libido is the interest in or our need for sex, so it is obviously a prerequisite of enjoyable sexual activity. However, there are a number of simple problems that can lead to a decrease in libido, and these are often easily rectified.

Many women report that they have little interest in sex immediately after the birth of a child. This may be a result of the change in hormone levels during and after pregnancy, but it may also be caused simply by physical tiredness.

The Pill can also reduce libido. This is a relatively uncommon effect, and may be easily solved by a change of Pill, of trying a different kind of contraceptive. Once again, it is they change in hormone levels that is said to be responsible.

The menstrual cycle can be accompanied by changes in the level of sexual interest. This should not present a problem once the woman and her partner have understood and accepted these ebbs and flows and their cyclical changes. A small minority of women, however, will experience loss of libido because of hormone deficiency or imbalance that is quite independent of the menstrual cycle, and this needs treatment.

Physical difficulties with arousal and intercourse can also occur because of pregnancy and childbirth. The vagina may be very tender after giving birth, and intercourse should not be attempted until all stitches have healed completely.

Once vaginal soreness has disappeared, (this may take three weeks or more) intercourse can take place as usual.

Painful intercourse needs medical investigation and treatment, as it may indicate gynecological problems, such a cysts on the ovaries or an infection inside the uterus. 

Human Sexuality: The Male Orgasmic Cycle

The male orgasmic cycle goes through exactly the same sequence: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Moreover, it is equally complex.

The excitement phase begins as a response to a sexual thought or feeling, or to physical stimulation. The penis responds almost immediately, and becomes erect.  Blood fills the spaces (corpora cavernosa) within the flaccid (soft) penis, so that it can enlarge to six inches or more in length when erect. Breathing deepens, the pulse rate increases and the body is more sensitive.

The plateau phase follows, and the penis is now fully erect. It may have darkened in colour, and a drop of liquid may appear at the entrance to the urethra. This is seminal fluid, and it may contain a small amount of sperm.

The testicles increase in size by as much as 50 per cent, rising up towards the body. And the genital area increases in sensitivity as orgasm is approached.

Orgasm is made up of two stages, but these are linked in such a way that it is impossible to have the first without the second. First sperm travel out of the testicles up the vas deferens (seminal duct) to the seminal vesicles. These vesicles produce semen, which is mixed with the sperm, and is then ready for ejaculation. About four seconds later the fluid is pushed up into and along the urethra, a result of a series of contractions made by the prostate gland and the urethral muscles. The semen is then ejaculated out of the urethra. This is an extremely exciting sensation. 

The resolution phase sees that penis returning to a non-aroused state, and loosing the erection. The physical tension, which has accompanied arousal, now disappears, and this man may feel very relaxed and sleepy. 

Human Sexuality: The Female Orgasmic Cycle

Orgasm is a simple reflex response to sexual stimulation, and can occur as the result of a variety of sexual stimuli. The physical cycle of arousal, however, is always exactly the same. Though intensity of the experience may vary from woman to woman, and from time to time, and depend on the source of stimulation. The Americana sexologists Masters and Johnson have identified four phases of the orgasmic cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution.

The excitement phase is brought about by sexual thoughts, emotional closeness and physical attraction. The body immediately reacts with an increase in general sensitivity and response to caresses.

The sexual organs become filled with blood, so that they swell both internally and externally. The vagina expands in length and width and the vulva swells a little. Both the clitoris and labia minora (inner lips of the vulva) fill with blood and may become darker in color. The vagina begins to lubricate itself in readiness for sexual contact.

The plateau phase follows immediately. The sexual organs become extremely sensitive, responding to the caresses of lovemaking. The vagina expands to become about two inches longer than in the non-aroused state. It is at this point that intercourse may be taking place, and sensation by the narrowing of the outer third of the vagina, making it grips the penis more easily. Lubrication of the vagina continues, and all the muscles around the sexual organs become tense in a very pleasurable way. The breasts may swell and the nipples become erect, especially if they are touched. Breathing is deep, and there may be a light rash over the upper parts of the body.

The clitoris, which is the most sensitive of the female sexual organs and where all orgasms begin, is now fully erect. Just before orgasm, it pulls itself back inside the clitoral hood.

Orgasm may now occur. There will be a rush of extremely pleasurable sensation beginning at the clitoris and moving outwards into the whole body. The muscles surrounding the vulva, vagina and anus now go into a series of spontaneous rhythmic contractions, which are delightful indeed.

The resolution phase then begins immediately after orgasm. In it, the sexual organs return to a non-aroused state.  The volume of blood, which has engorged the sexual organs slowly, drains away back into the body. Sexual interest may be aroused again almost immediately, and one or more orgasmic cycles will recommence. 

The Role Sex Plays In Our Lives

From the first yearnings of adolescence, sex plays a major role in our lives - indeed, it is one of our strongest drives. However, for some, what should be a rich source of pleasure can cause great unhappiness.

Sex is a fundamental driving force of human life. Even so, the complex relationships between the biological need to reproduce, cultural influences, love, affection, and the sex drive itself are still not fully understood. Much of what we know about human sexuality has only been researched and written about the past century, and there is still great controversy about many of its aspects.

As our society has developed, much of what was once considered taboo is now part of normal sexual behavior and can be discussed freely. In the past, a common premise was that women were interested in sex only for the sake of fulfilling that maternal instinct of pleasing their partners. Nowadays, however, it has become clear that women have as powerful a need for sexual satisfaction and fulfillment as men. Men used to be seen a less emotional and sensitive, wanting sex  only to gratify some basic animal urge, but we now know that emotional expression in sexual activity is equally important to men and women.

Our first conscious expression of interest in sex may come with the question ‘where do babies come from?’, but in fact, we have been sexual animals since birth. We enjoy and are aware of a variety of physical sensations, many of which represent the warmth and comfort of closeness with another person. We get sensual pleasure from our bodies long before we are aware of ourselves as sexual people, or what sexual pleasure means in adult society.

Sexual interest in other people may not arise until adolescence begins, although it may happen considerably earlier. However, surveys suggest that about 50 present of young people are sexually experienced by the time they have reached the age of 18.

What attracts people sexually to each other? The answer to this question can be split to cover three broad areas: physical factors, psychological factors and social influences.

On a physiological level, a lot depends on what a prospective partner looks like, not simply in the sense of physical appearance, but more in terms of whether he or she looks ‘interested’ or ‘available’.  It has been suggested that if the pupils of the eyes of someone you are looking at dilate as you speak to him or her, this signifies attraction, or at least interest. Smell also plays a part although it may be heavily disguised or register only on the unconscious level. Like all animals, humans produce strong scents called pheromones, which are a powerful influence on sexual attraction.

On the psychological level, it is true to say that, everybody judges potential sexual partners on a wide range of factors, including likeness or dissimilarity to mother or father. For instance, a boy who has had a good relationship with his mother may be attracted to girls who are like her.

Social influences are very important. We are constantly assaulted with images of what the ideal sex partner ought to look, act and live like; and there is little doubt that these things greatly influence our preference.

These aspects of sexuality have a great influence throughout adult life, and are central to the creation of any fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.

SOFTLY WHISPERING I LOVE YOU

Softly Whispering I Love You by The English Congregation - 1972

Softly, whispering I love you,

echoes of your voice are calling still through my dreams,

softening the chill of the breeze.

Through my window,

I can see the moon glow

painting silver shadows on a rose-colored land;

A world that we walk hand in hand

in a day of gold

colored by the glow of new love.

Oh, Woman, I can feel your warm face ever close to my lips

and the scent of you invades the cool evening air.

I can close my eyes and you´re there in my arms still

and I know your soft kiss,

turning into music every beat of my heart,

When I hold you close to my heart

and I hear your voice

whispering I love you. 

How seduce your man with lingerie

 Lingerie is important when it comes to turning on a man.  Lingerie should always be so that it hugs your body and helps to bring about your beautiful curves. 

 Make sure that you pick good quality lingerie that has good fabric. Go for materials like soft cotton, silk and satin. And remember, lace lingerie is top of the list - it makes men go weak in the knees!

Lingerie alone won’t seduce your man -   complement your lingerie with make-up which is both, sexy and not over-done. Keep it simple yet stylish. You can also set the room on fire, if you set your hair giving yourself a mind-blowing hairstyle. 

Sexy lingerie can help enhance your lovemaking life. Get a tanned skin so that your body will look radiant in your lingerie.

Sexy lingerie will make your night wild and will melt your partner but remember, body language will either seal the deal or blow a beautiful evening – be sexually radiant and be positive and inviting!

My Best Childhood Aromas

For me special aromas associated with my childhood bring back fond memories. Here are my 10 best aromas.

I grew up in a happy family environment and with this happy childhood I associate aromas bringing back fond memories. There are too many of them but the 10 best aromas are:

1. Pot-roast in the oven:  My mother was an excellent cook and in an era when nobody was actually concerned about high levels of cholesterol she spoiled us on Sundays with her best pot-roast. Early in the morning she would prepare all ingredients, put it in the oven at low temperature and boy, when we returned from church the house was filled with the aroma of slow-baking pot-roast.  Rest assured, the taste of that pot-roast was just as good as the smell thereof.

2. Fresh-cut grass:  My father taught us from a very young age to attend to our garden ourselves and in that time all houses had big yards with big gardens. Every Saturday was garden day and I had to mow the lawn and the smell of fresh-cut grass was heavenly. It still reminds me of our bondage with earth.

3. Jeyes Fluid:  My father believed that once a week all drains had to be disinfected, the court yard had to be washed and the dog kennels had to be cleaned. For this purpose he only believed in Jeyes Fluid. The smell lingered on for days and the smell always reminded me of cleanliness.  Fifty years later, I still follow the same routine as my father and I still use Jeyes Fluid.

4. Wicks bubble-gum:  My childhood was during the late fifties, early sixties when money was scarce and we had to rely on one penny a week as pocket money. For that one penny, we could buy 4 pieces of wicks bubble-gum. The secret of this brand of bubble-gum was that the flavor lasted for days and the aroma of the bubble-gum was heavenly. I remember sitting in church when suddenly the smell would reach you from somewhere in church and you knew someone of your own age was secretly chewing the bubble-gum – unfortunately, the smell could not keep it a secret.

5. Dettol:  My mother only believed in Dettol as an antiseptic ointment. And believe me; she used bottles and bottles of it. We were outdoor children, not a day went by that bruises, and nicks had to be treated with Dettol. Dettol is even today part of my medicine chest and a spoonful in a hot bath is like aromatherapy for my!

6. Roasted peanuts: Once a year one of the big circus companies would visit our little town and you did not miss it for a thing on earth.  With money a bit scarce, the only thing my father could afford for snacks during the show was a packet of freshly roasted peanuts in their shells. For that odd ninety minutes the show was on I indulged myself in the aroma and taste of roasted peanuts.

7. Candy floss: During church and school bazaars there was always a machine making candy floss. In spite of all the aromas of food and other edibles competing for your attention, candy floss was always the winner and whilst it was melting in your mouth the aroma itself engulfed you.

8. Vicks vapour rub: This was one of the musts for my mother’s medicine chest and she believed in it. We as children loved it for its beautiful aroma and warmness it created.

9. Wintergreen muscle ointment: My father was a very active man and after a hard day’s work in the garden or his chicken coop or his garage he took a hot bath and afterwards he rubbed in wintergreen. I loved to sit in his arms in the evenings listening to the radio programs and just took in that heavenly smell of wintergreen. I always associated it with a macho-man because my father only used it after a man’s work!

10. The smell of a puppy: My father lived near the earth and he tried to bring us as family nearer to earth and therefore a dog was always a must in our house. Whenever we received a new puppy, I loved to cuddle it for the smell only a puppy could have.

All these 10 best childhood aromas of mine are still part of my life. Yes, believe it or not, even the occasional candy floss and roasted peanuts I buy when there is a church bazaar or when we visit the specialized candy shops in the malls.

Danie

10 Beautiful Portraits of Beautiful Women

What You Should Know About Vitamins

A well-balanced diet is supposed to contain all the necessary vitamins in sufficient quantities. However, this is not always possible. For example, when you are suffering from certain illnesses, are on a restricted diet, are pregnant, or breast feeding, extra vitamins may be recommended by your doctor. But remember, under normal circumstances extra vitamins are unnecessary and can even be harmful, leading to poisonous overdoses called – hyper-vitaminosis!

The Role of Vitamins

Vitamin A is necessary for healthy skin, bones, and eyes.  Try not to take vitamin A supplements as an excess can cause fragile bones, liver and spleen enlargement and loss of appetite and possibly even hair.

The B vitamins affect blood, skin, nerves and growth, and the way your body uses foods. It will do no harm to take brewer’s yeast, a rich source of several B vitamins, for extra energy. The benefit is that the body quickly excretes any excess vitamin B. Therefore, the body set the balance automatically.

Any diet  should contain sufficient daily amounts of vitamin C-rich foods, as the body cannot store vitamin C, and it is easily destroyed by time, cooking and by cigarette smoking. 

Vitamin D is necessary for strong bones and teeth. It is found mainly in fish liver oils, egg yolk, liver, fatty sea-fish and milk. Supplements should be avoided as overdosing can cause vomiting, headaches, weight loss and calcium deposits in kidneys and arteries.

Vitamin E occurs in many foods especially in oils of wheat germ, cottonseed, and corn, and in oatmeal, margarine, eggs, meat, butter, and peas. Vitamin E occurs in many foods especially in oils of wheat germ, cottonseed, and corn, and in oatmeal, margarine, eggs, meat, butter, and peas.

Vitamin K helps prevent excessive bleeding. Ample quantities can be obtained by eating pig’s liver, green leafy vegetables, eggs and milk; supplements are largely unnecessary as the body makes up for any shortage by manufacturing it in the intestines.  

If you are suffering from vitamin deficiency, you should consult your doctor.

Steve Harvey and the Gentlemen's Club!

The following is one of those heart-warming stories and I want to share it with South Africans because, maybe, just maybe, we may need this also in our schools, but not only in schools, but even at our homes and in Spur Restaurants! And maybe, just maybe people like Judge Mabel Jansen won't be in trouble!!

A group of Memminger Elementary students and their teachers were featured  on the Steve Harvey Show (aired in SA on 3 August 2017) to talk about "The Gentlemen's Club" and how it's changing their approach in the classroom.

Fourth grade teacher Kenneth Joyner and Raymond Nelson with the Communities in Schools program work at Memminger Elementary, a predominantly black school in Charleston.

Memminger is a Title One school and Nelson and Joyner say there has always been a discipline problem, especially among boys, who go to Memminger and other middle and high schools in that part of the city.

Wanting to change that, the two men started "The Gentlemen's Club" and offered the school's boys a chance to learn what it means to be a gentleman.

"Our young boys were having a lot of problems with discipline; they were having a lot of problems with respect, and really self-esteem. So they had no value system. So we say that and said, 'We got to do something about this,'" Joyner said.

Every Wednesday they meet in their best clothes, many capping off a clean, pressed shirt and pants with a colorful bowtie, where Nelson and Joyner teach the boys how to look and feel good, how to be respectful to each other, their classmates, and teachers.

The result has been significant not only in their personal lives but also in the classroom, the boys told Harvey during the show.

"It's helped me become a gentleman, and later it life it helped me become a man," said Devon, one of the members of the club.

"Well, being in The Gentlemen's Club it's helped me learn to be more like a gentleman, not just by the way you dress but by the way you act," said Amari, another of the club's young members.

Harvey asked the boys what they thought of girls and three hands shot into the air to laughs from the audience.

They boys said girls notice when they dress up and they get comments on their style and manners regularly.

"It's just a wonderful feeling of having our boys walking around, doing what they're supposed to do, and feeling like they can be young gentlemen in school and outside school," Nelson said.

For their efforts to become gentlemen, Harvey told the boys he was sending the entire club to Carowinds just outside Charlotte, North Carolina.

Herbs and Spices

In almost all households we use herbs and spices everyday in preparing our food or even for medicinal purposes.

Ever though about what the difference is between herbs and spices?

 It’s simple really.

Herbs come from the leaves of plants while spices come from the stems, seeds, roots, and bark. Interesting, some plants are used as both herbs and spices, for instance, the leaves of the coriander plant are used as a herb and the seeds as a spice.

According to a research done by the California University of Ayurveda, coriander seeds are quite effective in curing different skin ailments like eczema, itchy skin, rashes and inflammation as they have antiseptic properties. They are known to cure mouth ulcers and sores as well. The seeds contain linoleic acid that also has pain relieving properties to diminish irritation.

Whether the recipe calls for herbs or spices;  use these palate-pleasing plants in your everyday cooking!

Past and Present: Art

How small things can make a big difference to your day

It is the small things that matter, that can change the world. Here are 20 random small things that that can make the difference to your day:

1. Treat yourself with breakfast in bed. Make it yourself and then curl back into bed and enjoy it!

2. Cuddle someone in bed in the morning. The best is to cuddle someone you love but your pillow will do when you are alone. Sometimes it just feels good to hold someone or something in your arms.

3. Give a smile to a stranger; and you may get one back.

4. Watching children playing carefree and laughing is a reminder to be playful and joyful. Pass a park or a playground on the way home.

5. Watch out for a small gesture of kindness from someone who loves you. The cup of tea made by your husband — now that is love!

6. Blast your soul with soothing music, when you want it. 

7. Have a picnic unexpectedly. Nothing invigorates a day like the feeling of sunlight on your face.

8. Five minutes of deep breathing.

9. Give someone an uncomfortably long hug today!

10. A small victory. Can you change that light bulb on your own?

11. A small change to your routine to make your day feel exciting.

12. Create an opportunity to be creative. Start a journal or a scrapbook, or get creative on a routine task at work to make it more exciting.

13. The moment after the rain stops. Everything smells clean, fresh, and revitalized.

14. A deep stretch. The benefits of loosening your muscles exceed enhanced relaxation. 

15. A beautiful sunset or sunrise. Nothing is more inspirational that tuning into nature’s majesty.

16. Playing a game you loved as a child. Play hide-and-seek with a friend during teatime at work.

17. An extra half-hour of sleep. Hit the sack a little earlier one night and see how this changes your day.

18. A thoughtful question from a friend. When she asks, “What’s your favourite childhood memory?” she is trying to learn what makes you happy. How beautiful that she cares to know.

19. Fresh, organic food. Organic food has higher nutrient levels and lower pesticide residues—and it often tastes better than non-organic food.