How to Increase Your Level of Intimacy

Just because you have been together for so long you can now allow passion and romance to die their natural death. In fact, one of the best-kept secrets among long-term couples is intimacy. But how do you exactly encourage it?

Make an effort to do so

Don't be trapped into a fairy-tale kind of romance. If you feel like the intimacy is already dying, you should step up a little bit and make an effort. There are many ways on how you can do that. Usually, you just try to bring back the old days. Remember those days when you still feel romantically involved. Recreate them.

Do look good

Your appearance will surely play a huge role in increasing intimacy. Whether you like it or not, men and women are still motivated in what they see. If they find you pleasing, they will feel more attracted and aroused. Getting intimate will be so much easier.

Check yourself

Do you feel confident about yourself? Are there certain things you need to change? If you're having trouble getting back your old self, you can make use of subliminal messages. Some of these subliminal messages can be the following:

- I need to look good for my partner and myself.

- I deserve to be given love and attention.

- I will do my best to be worthy of attention.

- I feel good about myself.

- I have enough power to make myself look and feel better.

You can say these subliminal messages or affirmations first thing in the morning and before you go to bed. Allow them to provide you with good mood and motivation.

Find time for the both of you

This is especially true when you already have children. The kids have already become a very lame excuse for couples to not do something together anymore. Getting together as a couple doesn't have to drive you away from your children for such a long time. You can just take a 15-minute walk in the park or watch a late-night movie when the children are already asleep. Hire a baby-sitter while you go out on a date in a fancy restaurant at least once a week.

Do a unique activity

Maybe both of you are trapped in a routine. If this happens the relationship gets very boring. Never let excitement get away. Do something both of you haven't really done before. It would be great to explore such activity together and create new memories.

Sit down and talk

A simple chat session can already be a very powerful means of bringing back the intimacy. Be more emotionally attached. Talk just about anything. You can even talk about your apprehensions. There's a possibility your partner is also feeling the same way too. Together you can figure out the best course of action to bring back the spark and save the relationship.

Like tango, it takes two to keep a relationship alive and together. If you want to bring the intimacy level higher, both should have concerted efforts to do so.

Nelson Berry  

My Beautiful Body    

The sensual language of make-up

What a joy to be in love! When the heart overflows with love, her eyes shining, his face lights up. We become more beautiful, more delicate.

And we want to tell all of our love. Especially him. Why not reinforce and highlight our state of mind with the choice of make-up? Why not accentuate the eyes with a touch of sensuality as the tricks of the moment? And why not send messages with full lips soft and shiny?

Click here for the article.

My Beautiful Body

How to Flirt

Flirting isn't obvious. If you're up-front about your desire to date or have sex with someone, you're not flirting. In a flirtatious interaction, the excitement comes from the hint at a possibility.

For many people, the thrill of flirting is simply receiving attention. To get that attention, you have to give it. Use nonverbal signals -- eye contact, standing just a little closer than normal, facing the person when he or she is speaking. There's no one magic pick-up line. Rather, it's up to you to figure out what kind of conversation the other person might enjoy. "Wow, I like your shirt" is perfectly OK in the right context, and much better than a line that sounds rehearsed.

Next, wait for a response before sending the next signal. If the person backs away, frowns, folds arms or starts flirting with someone else, don't make things worse by following him/her around. You've got your answer.

Flirting can be a great way to figure out whether you should ask someone out. If one or both of you is married and flirting, keep things strictly G-rated. Words and looks are probably OK; touching is not. If you feel like you can't help yourself, then you're in too deep and need to spend less time with this person.

My Beautiful Body

10 reasons why it's nice not to be single

No one in a long relationship has not sometimes wished they were single again. And no, most often it's not because of the interesting blonde that has just started working in the distribution section. Often it is just a desire to lie on your bed, alone, reading a good book, while all around you is quiet and you are having camembert and beetroot and melon for supper.

But then, there are also those times you are so glad you are not on your own. And that's not only on Valentine's Day.

Household hurricane: The morning after a party in your house, you view the debris littering the lounge, kitchen and the garden. The thought of cleaning it all up yourself is enough to make you get back into bed. But having someone chatting to you while you both clean up, makes it all so much easier.

Instant babysitter: There's a crisis at the office on a Sunday or your mother suddenly needs to be taken to hospital. Your spouse can simply take over and look after the children. Imagine if you were on your own, you might have had to lug them with you, and the smaller they are, the bigger a performance this is.

Someone on your side: If you've had a bad day at work or you've had a fight with your mother, your partner can always (OK, most of the time) be relied upon to support you and take your side. Or take you out for supper if you're really stressed or at least give you a foot massage. If these things are not true for you, what are you still doing in this relationship?

Look what your son has done: The duties of parenthood become a shared responsibility. There is another pair of hands that can change nappies, take kids to the doctor, entertain toddlers and deal with the teacher/school when there is a problem. Also someone else who can partially shoulder the responsibility when you child bites another preschooler or throws up on the couch minutes before your dinner guests arrive.

Cocooning: Sunday mornings or holidays or whenever, it is sometimes very pleasant to just withdraw into your own world. Disconnect the phone, forget about the rest of the world, have a good snuggle, or more, if you're lucky and just be on your own together.

Movers and shakers: When anything has to be carried, or shifted or moved, it is always better to have someone who can help. While this on its own is not exactly a good reason to start a relationship, many hands do make light work. You try and move the fridge on your own or cart a month's grocery shopping from the car.

A shoulder to cry on: Sometimes you feel just plain miserable – it's Sunday night, the cat's sick, you're not looking forward to work Monday morning and your mother insulted your new hairstyle. The TV on its own just won't do and you're not in the type of mood where you feel like going out. Then it's nice to have someone who will give you a hug and make you a cup of tea.

No more first date jitters: Remember the terror of first dates? Having a partner, means that those are over, at least for the time being. You still take trouble with your appearance, but no longer feel you have to go out on a shopping spree to find something new to wear so you can go to the movies. And what's more, sex is not such a rare commodity in your life as it might have been before.

Dual income: In these economic times, this makes a huge difference. If you suddenly have too much month at the end of your money, you can always ask for a small loan. If this happens every month, though, there could be a problem. If you want to buy a house together, you will also qualify for a much bigger bond than you would on your own.

Family fiasco: Lots of things can go wrong with families – from your younger brother losing his job to your partner's mother hitting the bottle or getting sick, to your sister-in-law walking out on her husband. These things are always easier to cope with if you have some measure of support from a partner. They can also give perspective to you and make you feel less alone when having to make, often painful, decisions regarding family members.

Acknowledgement: Susan Erasmus, Health24

My Beautiful Body

It's Always Time for Romance

Increasingly busy schedules make finding time to escape for a romantic getaway with your better half nearly impossible. When we do make time for romance, it's usually limited to Valentine's Day. But according to Danielle Hanscom, owner and innkeeper of the Brampton Inn in Chestertown, MD-recently named to the American Historic Inn Association's "Top 10 Most Romantic Inns" list-jump-starting romance doesn't have to be limited to Valentine's Day.

"When people come to the Brampton Inn, our goal is to provide a beautiful, relaxing atmosphere, where they can escape from their daily lives and truly focus on each other. However, if you can't get away, you can re-create the same romantic ambience we have here at home-any time of year," says Danielle.

Creating an atmosphere of romance at home can be easily accomplished by simply breaking the routine and getting creative with what you've already got on hand. Danielle offers a few tips to help you get cosy with your better half and turn your home into a B&B-style hideaway:

• Eliminate all distractions. If you have kids, let the grandparents or friends take them for a night. Turn off the TV, shut down the computer and unplug the phone.

• Invite your better half to spend an evening alone with you. A simple note on fancy paper will do the trick.

• Have your favourite treat prepared and presented by candle-light. Short on time? Have dinner delivered or pick it up from your favourite "date night" bistro.

• Set the mood-light scented candles, have champagne chilling on ice, and "your song" or favourite romantic album playing in the background.

• Sleep in and instead of slaving away to prepare a gourmet breakfast, take time to savour a rich romantic coffee creation that will keep the romance going all day.

My Beautiful Body

Lovely Tips On How Maintain a Woman and Keep the Love Burning

If you would like to maintain your woman, you must be nice to her. I know many men don't know this but women always want to hear and know that they are cherished. Many men don't even ask their women or partners whether they like the choices they make for them in their lives. They just make decisions on their own and impose on their women. The fact that she will not ask a question about many things that you decide and do for her doesn't mean that she is comfortable. She is just trying to bear with the domineering character of a man. Secretly, as men pretend to be deciding for their women, they keep asking themselves deep within their hearts. "Do you want to share with me?" Women constantly deep within their hearts ask questions and you may end up losing your woman. You must learn how to maintain a woman, be open and know how to keep her happy and comfortable.

Men certainly don't know that women are constantly worried about their inability to perform in bed. Demands and challenges of modern life, stresses and pressures of their work places have made them very docile in bed. Men are under obligations to keep their women satisfied sexually. Women tend to secretly get annoyed about their men performance but they find the topic hard to approach. Unlike men, women are secretive and they will hardly open up and tell men what they expect them to do. Men will always shout on top of their voices, boast and brag about how sexually active they are in bed but women are very reserved in this topic. You should learn how to satisfy your woman in bed.

Women need to hear and to be whispered to nice words. They like hearing sweet things and to be called sweet names. Men should be nice to their women and should show concern. A man's appreciation to a woman makes her feel happy and cherished. Know that women, unlike men who pay attention to what they see, they are more pleased with what they hear. Women are made up of sweet and nice words. Use nice and sweet words and maintain your woman.

Be nice to your woman. Once in a while, try to remind yourselves about the things you used to do when you were new in dating. Take her to places where you used to go when you first met her. You may even surprise her with such gifts like flowers and nice jewels that you used to buy her. Assist her in the things that she enjoy doing such as cooking. It will surprise you how miraculously it can work and you will always be there for you. When you go out together make sure you open for her the car door and usher her in. Whenever you visit the supermarket help her push the trolley and making decisions on what to buy. This will make her love you even more and strength your love bond.

By Francis K Githinji

My Beautiful Body

Ouma se Kombuis

Romantic Fantasies

Every person has their own romantic fantasies. Each fantasy has its own unique feeling, tone, and theme.

Some people have simple fantasies, yet others elaborate their romantic dreams with many sophisticated details. There is one thing in common with all romantic fantasies, however. It is desiring something that you don't already have in your life and that can only come true with a romantic partner.

Fantasies provide peace of mind and escape from the real world, and romantic fantasies in particular serve as a vehicle to a more satisfying sex life. Fantasies put people in touch with their sensuality, while also allowing them to become more comfortable with themselves and their relationships.

Women tend to be more sensual and romantic, relying on soft lighting, scented candles and slow music to set the mood. When most women fantasize about making love, it is often with a focus on their current partner (though sometimes someone unattainable, famous, etc. may creep into the mind's eye.) Location and setting play important roles as well, and the emotional connection is critical in most cases.

For some women, the ultimate fantasy is just spending time with the one they love. As one woman revealed, "I have the occasional naughty fantasies, but more than anything, I think about being curled up in his arms."

Sharing Your Fantasy

Very often, both partners in a relationship have fantasies they would like to share with their partners, but they don't reveal them. Fantasies evoke strong emotions and revealing them can make you vulnerable. Therefore, fantasies are usually kept private. To present your secret thoughts to someone can take courage.

It is easy and comfortable to assume that revealing your fantasies will not be appreciated by your partner. Although no one can read another person's mind, most people think their partner would not want to live out a fantasy with them.

Tell Your Partner What You Want

How to tell your partner about your romantic fantasies?

All you have to do is be clear about what you want and then tell your partner. Yes, this may sound easier to do than it is, but what do you have to lose? If you have someone who loves you, that person may be more eager to make you happy than you think.

Try This:  Write your fantasy down in one sentence. Have your partner write his or her fantasy down as well.

Now that you have written it down, you should be clear about what you want.

The next step is to share the fantasy with your partner. Go ahead, you will be surprised who easily fantasies can become reality!

Remember, your sensual and romantic thoughts can become reality if you share them with your love. Enjoy!

My Beautiful Body

Ouma se Kombuis

37 creative ways to de-stress

Your life is boring. The two most exciting things that happened to you this week was an afternoon of sunshine when you had washing on the line and the phone call on Sunday night was not from your mother-in-law.

  

Your social calendar for the immediate future contains two birthday parties for three-year-olds and a PTA meeting. You feel the only time you see other people is when you go to the supermarket or the Laundromat. When you start watching infomercials on morning TV, you should know it's time to do something new.

There are things every one of us should do at least once a year – if only to remind ourselves that we are alive. Remember who you used to be, get a good babysitter – if you need one that is, and let the games begin.

• Go for a long walk in the rain – who cares if your underwear gets soaked?
• Go away for a weekend, but don’t decide on a destination beforehand. Just get in the car and see where it takes you.
• Read all your old love letters.
• Go and watch two movies in one day and have a pizza and some wine in between the two.
• Get up early and watch the sun rise.
• Go to an outdoor symphony concert.
• Phone an old friend you have not spoken to for ages.
• Wear something outrageous and different to what you would usually wear.
• Buy a lottery ticket.
• Reread your three favourite poems and books – preferably in bed or in front of a fire.
• Go for a long walk next to the ocean.
• Swim when it’s raining.
• Buy something you don’t need at all, but would like to have anyway.
• Phone an old boyfriend on his birthday.
• Let the dog sleep under the duvet on a really cold night.
• Talk through the night to someone you really care about and only go to sleep when the birds start chirping.
• Invite the nice new person at work for dinner – don’t just promise to do it.
• Eat oranges and broccoli and chocolate fudge and pizza for supper – just because that’s what you feel like.
• Go and see a play or a live concert.
• Spend an hour on the phone to your best friend gossiping about someone you know, preferably your boss or your mother-in-law.
• Have a picnic.
• Go to a restaurant you have never been to before.
• Go for a massage or aromatherapy.
• Watch the sunset.
• Ask your hairdresser what he/she would like to do with your hair.
• Use some of your hard-earned savings and suddenly decide to go and see your friend in Milan or Dubai, or wherever.
• Learn to let the dishes stand for a day.
• Sign up for singing lessons, dancing lessons, or judo classes, or paper marbling, or live drawing, or writing classes, or Tai Chi.
• Put in a day’s leave and go camping in the wilds or in a nature reserve for a long weekend (no toddlers in nappies allowed on this trip – that’s what grandparents are for).
• Go to a nursery and buy some plants, even if they’re for the balcony of your flat.
• Go to the local tourist information bureau and pretend for one weekend that you are a tourist in your hometown. Visit the museum, climb the mountain, visit a gold mine, or crocodile ranch, or take a township tour.
• Invite ten very dissimilar people to a dinner party. Drink a tranquiliser beforehand.
• Commit one hour a week of your time towards helping others in some way – whether volunteering at a community organisation or visiting your mother’s aunt in an old age home.
• Buy flowers for yourself.
• Go out for the evening and say “Expect me when you see me” as you leave.
• Walk barefoot in wet grass.
• Go out for breakfast.
• Leave the TV off for an hour, day or a week or until it hurts.

Acknowledgement: Susan Erasmus, Health24.com

Ouma se Kombuis

The words you use affect relationships and self-esteem

That old phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not really true. Words may not inflict visible bruises like sticks and stones, but they pack a punch nonetheless.

Words injure our insides, our feelings and our self-esteem. External bruises are tangible proof that we’ve been hurt.  Internal bruises from verbal attacks are harder to prove, harder to acknowledge, and harder to talk about. 

Words and how we say them do matter, so it’s very important to be careful how you speak to your partner and others.  The misuse and carelessness of how you speak are two of the main issues that undermine and can eventually destroy a relationship. 

There are many positive and compassionate ways to get your point across to someone you care about.  For example, a judgmental statement such as, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and can’t say anything to my partner without him/her getting upset,” can instead be reframed to “I want to show my partner respect and love by speaking to them with compassion and awareness.”  That doesn’t mean you can’t speak your mind, it just means you’re being respectful and mindful of another person’s feelings and vulnerabilities.  It lets your partner know they’re not a bad person, but you truly want them to hear you.  Use of attacking language, such as “You’re a jerk,” “You always,” “You never…,” is guaranteed to get a negative response from your partner who has no choice but to be react defensively.

When communicating, keep the following four tips in mind:

1.) Use “I” statements.

2.) Have compassion for yourself and your partner.

3.) Listen before you speak.

4.) Speak as you would like to be spoken to.

Another example of reframing negative, judgmental language to positive and compassionate language includes:

Your partner is angry and yells at you for no reason.  You could say, “Shut up, you’re always yelling at me for no reason.  You’re awful!” 

OR you could say:

“It’s not okay to talk to me that way.  I don’t deserve it and it is hurtful.”

Because this is a more neutral and uncharged way of speaking than the first accusatory example, it’s going to be much easier for your partner to hear you, to reply in an understanding manner, and maybe even change his/her behaviour.  You’re speaking your feelings without raking your partner over the coals.

Good communication means expressing your feelings without making another person defensive.  What this ultimately means is taking responsibility for your feelings and expressing them in a way that is clear without blame, shame, or damage.  The goal is to speak with consciousness and awareness.  Remember: When we are compassionate in the way we speak, we can say even the hardest things to someone and still communicate our caring, love, and displeasure – altogether.

Before you speak, remember:

1.) Listen to yourself.

2.) Think about your partner and use words that he/she will understand.

3.) Cool down before you talk.  Don’t talk in the heat of the moment.  Try to express the feelings (hurt, anger, disappointment) that are hiding underneath the shame, blame, self-righteousness and judgment.

4.) Remember you want resolution and peace, not necessarily to be right.

5.) Kindness and compassion go a long way.

By Sharon M Rivkin

My Beautiful Body

INDIGESTION AND HEARTBURN

People who suffer attacks of indigestion or heartburn often put themselves permanently on a bland diet to alleviate the discomfort they experience after meals, or because their doctor suggests it. More important than blandness in general is specific avoidance of a few substances which can cause trouble and adherence to a few rules:

·         Avoid all types of caffeine-containing beverages (tea, coffee, cola drinks)

·         Avoid smoking. Smoking increases stomach acid and is associated with peptic ulcer formation.

·         Avoid meat extracts (Bouillon cubes, concentrated tinned broths, canned gravies)

·         Don’t eat or drink acid-containing foods (pickles, tomato juice, oranges). Drink mildly alcoholic beverages (wines, beer, diluted drinks) during meals only. Avoid strong alcoholic drinks entirely.

·         Test your individual tolerance for foods known to cause indigestion and heartburn (sauerkraut, hot dogs, raw onions, beans, citrus juices, ice cream) by trying a small amount of one particular food at a time.

·         Avoid fatty, fried foods.

·         Eat potatoes – as a source of carbohydrates they tend to cause less heartburn than bread or rice.

·         Arrange for long, relaxed mealtimes (no food on the run; no arguments during dinner).

·         Eat slowly, chew thoroughly.

·         Do not eat very large meals; do not lie down until several hours after a meal

·         Do not go too long between meal

·         Do not go too long between meals.

·         Be sure that you are getting adequate nutrition.

Glorious food

Skirts and dresses over the years

The earliest styled garments were draped around the body, accentuating its contours while marking the wearer’s status and gender. In Egypt this form of dress developed before 1500 BC. From the schenti, a belted loincloth that was more like a pleated, knee-length skirt.

For woman, the skirt finished under the breasts, secured by shoulder straps. The styles adopted by the classical Greeks and Romans were looser. The chiton, which formed the basis of the Greek wardrobe from 700BC, fell from the shoulders and waist in folds. The man’s chiton was shorter, but otherwise there was little difference between the sexes.

In Italy, the early Etruscans used ties to create close- fitting dresses, but contact with Greek civilisation led to the adoption of a draped chiton for Roman women and a flowing, semicircular toga for men. In the 5^th century AD the draped look was abandoned as the influence of northern Europe grew, spread by the Germanic tribes who invaded Gaul and raided Britain. From about 450 to 1300 the dress was a sewn, T-Shaped garment belted at the waist. A flared skirt helped to accentuate the bust, waist and hips.

Around 1350 the rise of competitive court societies in Italy and France introduced the idea of a fashion cycle. The dress now became the focus for the tailor’s skill and the wearer’s sophisticated taste. Lacing, buttoning and the cutting of fabric, across the grain all contributed to a fitted look.

The floor-length gown became an exclusively feminine item in the early 16^th century. From 1530 female costume was composed of the bodice and the skirt or ‘kirtle’; the one- piece outfit remained as a long undershift. This form of dressing was worn for ceremonial occasions until the 18^th century.

For more private moments, the one-piece gown had re-emerged by 1700 as the loose, open-fronted ‘mantua’, which was often worn in the mornings. In the 1800’s advances in the technology of clothing production and materials led to a wider variety of styles suitable for particular occasions. The width of the crinoline dictated the fashion for skirts, blouses and jackets in the 1860’s but from 1870 princess line dresses were cut in one length.

By the turn of the century the new pursuits of cycling and tennis had hastened the fashion for tailored skirts and blouses. The trend for sensible rather than symbolic forms of dress-part of the movement towards emancipation - underpinned the simplification of the female dress. From 1925 the short, shirt-like dress encouraged the switch to mass production. It was left to designers such as Coco Chanel in the 1920’s and Christian Dior in the 1950’s to introduce stylistic features that reflected the mood and taste of the time.  

FASHION AND BEAUTY

More than 40 000 years ago the inhabitants of Western Europe adorned themselves with jewellery of ivory and bone. Clothes, worn to protect their bodies from the elements or to provide covering for modesty’s sake, came much later. The people of northern Europe probably first slung animal skins around themselves as protection from the cold in about 25000 BC. In the Mediterranean and Middle East, fibres from plants such as flax, and the hair of goats and sheep, were woven to form lightweight fabrics that mot only afforded protection against the Sun’s rays but also signified social status. The earliest of these textiles, made in Anatolia in Turkey, date to about 6500 BC.

As civilisations developed, so styles of dress also evolved In Egypt, Greece and Rome, clothes were draped, while the people of northern Europe and the East wore stitched, tubular garments. In the classical world the toga, worn not only by rulers but also by philosophers and teachers, was regarded as a symbol of civilisation.

Breeches and tunics, by contrast, were considered typical of barbarian, tribal societies. But the idea of fashion, with its ever-changing cycles of styles and trends, first took hold in the mid 1300 in Paris, London and the Italian city-states, when the elite rejected their flowing garments for tight-fitting clothes decorated to show the latest tastes. Men’s robes, which had previously been ankle- length, now reached above the knee, while female dress was transformed by lacing, buttons, and the introduction of the décolletage. As people desired to change their silhouettes at regular intervals - a trend that coincided with a growing international textile trade – so cutting and tailoring developed.

Early fashion belonged to the elite, who tried to preserve their social superiority with ‘sumptuary laws’ forbidding tradesmen and yeomen from wearing expensive and lavishly embroidered fabrics.

But the French code off dressing, based on a fixed social hierarchy and courtly etiquette, was overturned by the Revolution of 1789. Elaborate wigs and powdered hair were abandoned, men’s clothes were no longer embellished with embroidery and lace, and women adopted the simple Empire gown. Style became a mark of individual freedom, adopted for its own sake, No longer the preserve of the aristocracy; it soon became associated with the avant-garde, Romantic writers and artists, political activists and dandies.

In Britain affordable, mass-produced printed textiles and fashion accessories were made available by the Industrial Revolution. These were popular with the middle classes, who saw them as a means of expressing their new confidence and success. For men power now lay in business, not the court. The dark suit became a male ‘uniform’, while women paraded the family’s status through their own and their children’s dress.

Fashion and femininity were inextricably entwined. Women were weighed down by petticoats and their mobility restricted by delicate shoes.

In the late 1800s attempts began to make female dress more ‘sensible’. But ideals of beauty and fashion held sway, with department stores offering ready-made copies of the newest styles featured in magazines, society photographs and, from the early 1900’s, the cinema. From these beginnings the consumer-orientated 20^th century fashion and beauty industries were launched.  

 Woman-to-Woman

Date Rape Prevention Tips

Dating safety is not a joke and everyone can benefit from reading these easy to follow safety procedures, to ensure your well being on or off a date.

1. Use the buddy system. There is safety in numbers. Group dates are less tense not to mention extremely safe.

2. Don't accept blind dates.

3. Never get in a car with someone you don't know. Always "meet" somewhere on the 1st date. Less romantic but much safer.

4. Never let a first time date know where you live. Again it sort of puts a damper on the romance but it could save you from stalkings and other unpleasantness.

5. Stay away from secluded beaches and other private "date" spots until you feel comfortable with them. Even if you're in a group, secluded areas are not recommended.

6. What ever you do don't give out personal info until you know that person well . This means address, social security number, bank card, etc. Height, weight (optional), likes and dislikes are okay.

7. Make sure at least one other person knows where, when, and who you will be with.

8. For first dates pick a time to call this other person and do so just to "check in". This might remind you of high school but it could save your life.

9. Scope out the restaurant and know where the phones are located. Bring extra change in case you find yourself stranded. (If you are following Rule 3. you won't need this rule.)

10. This is the most important rule. Go with your gut, if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Go home and rent a movie but never do anything you don't feel is in your best interest.

5 Ways to Make a Connection

Being able to quickly establish a deep bond with a woman is an ability that most guys lack. Often guys speak in a logical manner, not listening to the woman and turning every conversation back to their one and only talking point: themselves! This makes it hard to make proper connections and the woman does not feel as though she has had a great conversation.

Here is what you need to do to overcome this:

1. Relate things to them, not just to you or your life

When somebody tells you that they have just had an interesting experience, like going to Thailand for example, it is a common mistake to instantly relate it back to yourself with your personal experiences of Thailand. Instead, try to imagine their experience, bringing out their memories and showing an interest in their unforgettable holiday. Don't immediately make yourself the subject of the conversation, first connect for a while allowing the woman to elaborate on her experience and then it is fine to relate it to yourself.

2. Use what they give you

When someone is talking to you they usually give you information about themselves: their feelings and their lives. These are perfect opportunities for foundations of connections. Often people ignore these and talk about themselves; instead, grasp every opportunity and connect on each point before moving on to the next.

3. Be Observant

Women have usually put a lot of effort into their appearance and often, to their dismay, this goes unnoticed. By picking up on something interesting in the way they're dressed or a particular aspect of their outfit (their bag might match their shoes, belt, earrings and dress), they will be impressed with how observant you are and be glad that their effort hasn't been overlooked. You can pick up on general aspects of their appearance or comment on jewellery and accessories which often have meaning or a story behind them.

4. Be empathetic

When someone has an interest, passion or particularly strong opinion on a subject, there are three main ways of connecting to it. The first is to simply say "me too" that shows you have common interests, the second is to disagree (but be sure to back up your views). The third and most effective response is to show that you can understand her passion, interest or view - even if you don't share it. For example, if someone likes cooking you can show that you understand why she might enjoy it without actually sharing her passion.

5. Talk about things that evoke feeling

Find something that they are passionate about - it could be anything from friends and family, to travel or even ballet. Connect with them on these subjects by showing that you understand why they have that particular passion. Don't simply gloss over them by saying "me too" and instantly changing the subject. Try to keep the conversation going and lead on to ask about her other interests.

Use these steps during conversation and you will quickly form a connection within hours, as opposed to weeks.

The Perfect Person

We all want love. Then, when we get it, we become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we are relieved when the person goes away.

It always "seems" as if relationships are difficult. They seem difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet, the fundamental truth is: there is no inherent problem with relationships. There is never a scarcity of relationships. There is never a scarcity of love. Love is our natural condition, why aren't we satisfied?

The most common answer to this question is that we must find the perfect person. There is always something wrong with the people we meet. We have not yet found the "right" person, who can make us really happy. Or, if we have found him/her that person has now left us and nobody will ever take their place again.

At this point we still believe that another person can make us happy. But, all right, let us look for a moment at what we're dreaming of. Take a moment to see clearly who this perfect person is to you. Sit down and write a description of how you would imagine your perfect partner to be. Let yourself daydream. Write down all the qualities such a person would have.

Now, write a paragraph describing how you would have to be in order to have such a partner. (Daydreams have power). Just doing this exercise you may begin to laugh. There may be wild discrepancies between how you see yourself now and how you feel your would have to be to hold such a perfect partner.

What else might you discover? You might also discover that you do not really like this perfect person after all. He/she may only be some kind of ego-ideal. (Someone to build up your own self-image).

An attitude like this is based upon non-acceptance of whom and what we really are. When we use another person to build up our own self-image, this kind of relationship is grounded in fear.

Love can never be built upon a foundation that is not real. If we do not feel good within ourselves, is it really so surprising we may not really be so eager, after all, for this perfect

There are many ways people keep love away. Some constantly fall into relationships only with difficult people. In this manner they insure that they will either be rejected, or have to reject the other. Rejection can feel more comfortable and familiar than the experience of love. Take a long, hard, good look at this. Look at what it is in you that feels it must keep love away. We cannot be open to love and relationship until we are able to release our fear of and desire for rejection. Once this pattern is dealt with, all of life opens its many doors.

As this happens it is inevitable to realize that love is free, it flows everywhere. It flows to everyone regardless of their qualities. Love has nothing to do with any images or fantasies of how somebody else "should be", or how we "should be" either.

Each person is the perfect person just as they are. When you begin finding the beauty in everyone, then the right one for you just walks through the door. .

Start today. Look around for a moment. See who is really in your life. Look at this person. Are you willing to love them? Really? What will happen if they start to love you too? Anything we can't love or accept in another is a mirror of something we can't love or accept in ourselves. All it takes is one moment to decide to turn that around. Try for a moment. See how wonderful it feels.

Here is a lovely exercise. Close your eyes look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Open your eyes a moment. Close them again, and look at yourself now through your own eyes. Open your eyes. Can you choose to look at yourself and others, through the eyes of someone who loves them? If you can, you will be amazed at all the love that starts flowing to you.

By Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

Passionate Love Making Tips

Passionate love making may seem like a far off memory that only occurred for some when they were young teenagers full of unfulfilled sexual energy. Now, you’ve grown up. You’ve started a family and a career. You have other obligations to take care of. Your life may seem great until you realize that you can no longer have passionate love with your partner anymore. Here is some common passionate love making tips that almost any couple can use.

Passionate Love Making Tip #1: Surprise your significant other. If your wife is cooking breakfast one morning, come up behind her and slowly begin nibbling her earlobe. This sudden, unexpected affection can make your loving making experience as wonderful as ever. Women can do this too. If your husband is watching a sports event on TV, sit down beside him and begin rubbing his thigh slowly. He will quickly forget that it is second and three to go, and will turn his attention towards you.

Passionate Love Making Tip #2: Set the mood. Lighting scented candles around your bedroom can be a very easy way of setting the mood. Also, put on some passionate love music. Make a mix CD with you and your lovers favorite love tracks and play it on a loop. You don’t want to interrupt what you’re doing to go and change the disk. Bring in a bottle of champagne with two slim glasses. You can also bring fruit into the bedroom to help arouse partners. Apples and bananas typically don’t work. Try a bowl of cherries or chocolate covered strawberries. If you don’t have fruit on hand, try just plain chocolate, nature’s aphrodisiac.

Passionate Love Making Tip #3: Appreciate each other. You cannot have passionate sex with anyone that you cannot stand the sight of. Compliment your partner on a daily basis for little things. Men should tell women that they like their new hairstyle or pair of shoes. Women should tell men that they look good or that they have lost a few pounds off that fat tire. After all, who would want to sleep with someone if they are not sure if their partner is attracted to them?

Passionate Love Making Tip #4: Know when to have sex. As stated earlier, unexpected sex can be great but how do you jazz up guaranteed sex? Birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, or even make up sex after a fight can be great love making experience. Some people decide to put of that set of intercourse for another day because of many reasons. Do not do that. If it’s your birthday, have sex that day. Don’t put it off. In fact, putting off a love making session only puts off pleasure.

Passionate love making can be achieved in these four easy steps. If these tips do not help you have more passionate love making, try something of your own. Don’t be afraid to ask around to family, friends and neighbours. They can be more helpful than you would think.

By Mikee Dunn

Self Esteem

How do you see yourself when you look in the mirror; do the standards defined by pop entertainment haunt your sense of self?

If you answered 'yes', you are simply part of the growing number of people who are experiencing an alarming down-turn in positive self-image. A shortcoming of positive feelings can lead to an increase in the kind of sexual problems that can arise with low self esteem; performance anxiety leading to erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation in men, and lubrication/orgasm difficulties in women.

What is Self Esteem?

Self esteem is the internal power we have gained from our own image of self. Self-image is the internal score sheet that tracks how you believe you measure up to the other people in your peer group. In other words; self image is designed to place you along some scale from “coolest” or “most beautiful” to “least hip” or “least beautiful.” Since this self image is the pool from which we derive so much of our sense of confidence and self esteem, it is important to figure out the variables that make up this sense of self.

When thinking about this concept, there are many questions that you can ask yourself to begin the process of uncovering your self image. Some of them are:

·      How attractive do you consider yourself?

·      How fun / interesting do you think you are?

·      Do you wish you could be different?

It is important to note that many of these types of questions shed light on the fact that we are not solitary creatures. We live in communities that are constantly placing value on certain traits and characteristics. Consequently, our self worth is heavily influenced by the forces that are constantly acting upon us. With one of the primary focuses of many societies being "the capture of the best life-mate possible," it shouldn't be surprising that negative images of oneself could manifest themselves through the superficial masking of our identity and (even) sexual dysfunctions.

In western society, the main two external factors on our self esteem and image are the media that constantly bombards us with "the ideal examples" of what is attractive, plus the feedback we receive from our local communities. Whether it was the time we didn't make the cut for a team, or the time we won an award or the heart of a 'love', our pains, victories, ambitions and fears sculpt us as individuals and as a society.

Due to the nature of what society views as a healthy sexual relationship, the majority of us spend a significant portion of at least our younger lives trying to find that perfect person, or maybe just one that is close enough. Consequently, we all strive to be the best... but since there is no true definition for what best is (it is a unique concept for everyone), we end up competing with everything around us in hopes of winning... with mass media being the guidebook.

Although many may not like it, the reality is that most of us are carrying a lot of emotional baggage due to this social conditioning. In the case of women many, if not a majority, do not like the thought of going on a date without make up; in the case of men, many (if not a majority) focus on building attractive muscles or having a fancy car that helps define their status as powerful.

The reality is that “the perfect image” we compare ourselves to can cause just as much damage as good. Not to say that there is anything wrong with having standards for ourselves, but there is something wrong with setting those standards unrealistically high. When we do this, we begin to have limiting thoughts on what we are able to do, and consequently start becoming our own worst enemy.

Improving Your Self Esteem

There are essentially two ways to improve self esteem: reanalyzing the standards that we are setting for ourselves, and creating and following a plan to reach the goals that we believe in.

Although it may be difficult to be honest and not over-critical of ourselves, it is best to start by listing all of the things we do, and do not, like about ourselves. This can be a little dangerous because so many of us, in this self-hating western culture, find so little to like about ourselves. But this exercise will provide you with a list of things to re-energize you if you get down, and it provides you with a starting point that identifies the areas that you will look into more detail on.

The next step is to analyze all of the negatives things and to put them into perspective. We create a lot of expectations for ourselves based on our perception of how other people think... and truth be told, our perception is often pretty far off base. Some common examples of things people don't like about themselves are: I'm not attractive/smart enough, my breasts are too small, I'm not in good shape, I don’t have big muscles, a big penis, or a nice car...

In the list of examples, and in most people’s lists, there will be items that can be changed and then those that can’t. Since focusing on things we are unable to change is only going to make those problems worse, it is important to come to peace with them, and focus on the things that we do have control over.

Once you get most, if not all, of the unchangeable things out of the way, you should immediately start feeling a weight leaving your shoulders. The next step is to focus on the things that you can change... whether it is some new clothes that will help you express yourself, or a new diet and exercise plan that will help you reach your physical goals, it is important to note that most of these changes come with time and will require patience as you work towards them. Set small goals along the way so that you can experience victories as you go, and keep raising the bar a little at a time.

There are some really good suggestions listed above, but first and foremost the key to good self esteem is good self awareness. Think about all your good qualities and start to change the bad ones - but don’t get down on yourself for your failings, we all have them, and you are not alone in the doubt that comes from self-critiquing. Let the things you can’t change fall by the wayside and make sure that you tackle, with tenacity and fortitude, the things that you can change. With those changes will come a re-birth of your attitude to life and a quantum leap in your sense of self-esteem!

 Beautiful South Africa

Health Tips for Women

Women are the care taker of the husband, children, parents, in-law and other members of the family. Working women have their bosses who want them to full various job requirements. In all this mayhem, women forget to take care of themselves which results in stressed lives and poor health.  Women should be aware about their health needs and be proactive in taking care of themselves. Women need to make decisions which can help her maintain the quality of life as well as good health. This will help in deciding whether she just wants to struggle in life or want to lead healthy and rewarding life.

There are few health care tips which every woman should consider as if you are healthy only then you can take care of people around you. First and foremost for good health is eating healthy and right. Eating five servings of vegetables and fruits with diet having less saturated fat can help you in maintaining health as well as reduces the cancer risk. Being obese won’t help you as you will age, so maintaining a proportionate weight is very important. Women who are overweight have risk of cardiac arrests, high blood pressure, diabetes and strokes. Doing proper exercise and having a balanced diet along with a right health care provider can help you.

Physical exercise is very important for women as today we have a sedentary lifestyle. Adult women should exercise for at least thirty minutes each day. It doesn’t require money but what is requires is the will and commitment to do it. You can start with some light walking and jogging or can try out more fun ways like dancing, gardening and swimming. Due to hectic lifestyle and peer groups, many women start smoking to release tension. Smoking doesn’t relieve you of the stress but makes you prone to many diseases like cancer, lung diseases, infertility, and complications in pregnancy and early menopause. Moreover, smoking can increase the risk of heart attack in women. Quit smoking for a good health today.

Going in for periodical health check up with your health care provider can reduce risk of many diseases and moreover, gives you mental satisfaction that you are hail and hearty. These routine check-ups and examination include blood pressure checks, check-ups for cholesterol, diabetes, STDs, cancer of skin, breast and cervix. If by chance, the problem is detected in early stage, a proper treatment can be ensured. Even getting vaccinations for diseases can protect you from many diseases. This might become a necessity depending on the job requirements, lifestyle and frequent traveling.

Stress is root cause of many health problems when it comes to women. You can manage stress by involving in stress busting activities at home and work. Try it and you will be very relieved. There are chances that you might suffer from some hereditary problems which run in your ancestors and parents. Moreover, sometimes you are subjected to many diseases because of the work environment, job profile and lifestyle. Being aware about your health condition is very important for protecting yourself from health threats. These are various ways which can help women in maintaining good health and leading a happy life

by Marry Jones