Just because you have been together for so long you can now allow passion and romance to die their natural death. In fact, one of the best-kept secrets among long-term couples is intimacy. But how do you exactly encourage it?
Make an effort to do so
Don't be trapped into a fairy-tale kind of romance. If you feel like the intimacy is already dying, you should step up a little bit and make an effort. There are many ways on how you can do that. Usually, you just try to bring back the old days. Remember those days when you still feel romantically involved. Recreate them.
Do look good
Your appearance will surely play a huge role in increasing intimacy. Whether you like it or not, men and women are still motivated in what they see. If they find you pleasing, they will feel more attracted and aroused. Getting intimate will be so much easier.
Check yourself
Do you feel confident about yourself? Are there certain things you need to change? If you're having trouble getting back your old self, you can make use of subliminal messages. Some of these subliminal messages can be the following:
- I need to look good for my partner and myself.
- I deserve to be given love and attention.
- I will do my best to be worthy of attention.
- I feel good about myself.
- I have enough power to make myself look and feel better.
You can say these subliminal messages or affirmations first thing in the morning and before you go to bed. Allow them to provide you with good mood and motivation.
Find time for the both of you
This is especially true when you already have children. The kids have already become a very lame excuse for couples to not do something together anymore. Getting together as a couple doesn't have to drive you away from your children for such a long time. You can just take a 15-minute walk in the park or watch a late-night movie when the children are already asleep. Hire a baby-sitter while you go out on a date in a fancy restaurant at least once a week.
Do a unique activity
Maybe both of you are trapped in a routine. If this happens the relationship gets very boring. Never let excitement get away. Do something both of you haven't really done before. It would be great to explore such activity together and create new memories.
Sit down and talk
A simple chat session can already be a very powerful means of bringing back the intimacy. Be more emotionally attached. Talk just about anything. You can even talk about your apprehensions. There's a possibility your partner is also feeling the same way too. Together you can figure out the best course of action to bring back the spark and save the relationship.
Like tango, it takes two to keep a relationship alive and together. If you want to bring the intimacy level higher, both should have concerted efforts to do so.
Nelson Berry
