A basic expectation of a relationship is that the
relationship must provide us with closeness or intimacy.
However, what does intimacy means? It means to know my
partner very well, be able to communicate on a deeper level, feeling safe and
to share secrets. It also means that we can be open with the ones we love
without fearing of rejection. Trust is part of intimacy – we must trust each
other; even with our lives!
Unfortunately, the need for intimacy is also a source of
conflict within the relationship as men and women have different opinions and
views of what intimacy indeed is. We all want love and intimacy but we do not
see these two things in the same light.
It is a fact that men
and women are from ‘different planets’:
- Men view intimacy in a relationship in terms of power and
bring this into the relationship. Money is power for them and therefore they
may show their love through loyalty and providing financially for their
partners. To be wealthy, is a way of expressing their commitment and caring in
a relationship. That is why they are not always able to communicate their
deepest, intimate feelings to their partners.
- On the other hand, women, often need that personal touch – those
little intimate gestures of attention, love, and affection that make them feel
special and close to their partners. Women are more inclined to demonstrate
their love by means of being warm and affectionate and by expressing their
emotions.
Due to these differences between men and women, in
understanding intimacy and the different ways in showing it, we need to talk to
each other. If we do not, misunderstandings, which could lead to
dissatisfaction and anger, are likely to sour any relationship.
