All relationships involve some conflict. Sometimes this even
involves open arguments and fights. At times, there is also an atmosphere of
unspoken dissatisfaction and tension. The point is, no two people are exactly
the same, so disagreements are inevitable. Our differences and disagreements
can enrich our lives. Learning to deal with conflict is not only useful, but
can teach us a lot about our partners and ourselves.
The first step in resolving an argument is to identify the
problem from both partners’ perspectives. Unless you agree on what the problem
is, you will not know what you are trying to resolve. It is also wise to stick
to the issue at hand, do not raise side issues.
The second step is to be clear about how your partner feel
about the problem and to express this. You and your partner should listen
carefully to each other, remembering to respect each other’s feelings and
views.
The third step is to work out whether the problem is one of
differing values, beliefs and attitudes, or a practical issue. If different
values and beliefs are at the root of the problem, both partners will need to
be especially tolerant and patient. You will have to accept these differences
and respect that each one has the right to have their own views. It can also be
that at the end you will agree to disagree! When the problem is a practical
one, it can be a lot easier – both partners should all possible solutions to
the problem. Once you have settled on a solution, both partners need to commit
themselves to try it out.
Here are some helpful tips in solving problems and tips:
- avoid confusing the real issue by bringing up old
complaints of the past
- do not insult or humiliate your partner
-Avoid delaying tactics
- avoid manipulating your partner
Successfully resolving conflict usually gives both partners
a great sense of satisfaction and brings them closer together.
