Women are complex creatures, sometimes frustratingly so. There are times when we make the men in our lives want to throw up their hands in defeat and say, "I'll just never understand what women want!"
Don't give up hope. Sometimes the key to understanding your girl is to read between the lines of what she's saying to discover what she really means.
It's not entirely our fault that we have this round about way of communicating. Boys are taught from a young age that asking for what they want is the best way to get it, while girls are encouraged to use our "feminine wiles" to maneuver our way into what our heart desires.
It doesn't help that a straightforward persistent woman in our society is often tagged with unfair labels like "bitch" or "ball breaker". So instead of being direct, we sometimes take the long way to getting to what we really mean. To help you understand, there are certain things you can look for to help you decode the meaning behind your girlfriend's words.
She Wants To Be Babied
"I had a really busy day" = "I need some pampering"
When your girl complains about her long hard day, there's a good chance it's not just to get it off her chest. She wants you help her relax, but instead of just asking you for a back massage, or to run her a hot bath, she feigns helplessness so you'll be able to sweep in as her man and fix everything for her.
It's hard for a modern feminist woman to ask for help from her man. We all want to believe we can take care of ourselves, but there are times when we just want to be coddled a little bit. So, instead of being annoyed by her whining, do the smart thing and ask her what she needs to unwind. Trust me, you'll reap the rewards later.
It's Time to Talk
"I don't feel like talking" = "I really NEED to talk"
You can tell something is bothering your girl, but when you ask she says nothing is wrong. Don't be fooled, she really does need to talk. She just wants you to press her a little. If you insist on asking what's wrong it convinces her that you really want to hear about her problems and help resolve them.
Try to encourage her to open up without nagging. Instead, let her know that you are concerned and open to listening. She really does want to tell you about the fight she had with her best friend or how much getting passed over for that promotion at work upset her, but unless you show genuine interest, she'll probably keep it bottled up.
The only time this translation may not be accurate is when she's upset about something you did. In this case, she may really need some space and time to think before she confronts you with it.
She's Feeling Insecure
"I'm not jealous" = "I need reassurance"
You've just run into your ex-girlfriend while walking down the street with your current one. You can tell that the unexpected meeting has your girl frazzled, but she insists she's not threatened.
What NOT to do in this situation is accuse her of being mistrustful or joke about how cute she is when she's jealous. The right thing to do here is to reassure her of your love and devotion without being too obvious about it. Try something like, "Wow, seeing Suzy again just makes me realize how perfect you and I are together."
She Wants to Get Serious
"So are we like together?" = "I want a commitment"
Stereotypically, guys are all commitment phoebes while their girls are fervently awaiting him dropping to one knee in the perfect moment of romantic dedication. This may not be universally true, but there's a good chance she's looking toward the next stage in your relationship before you've even entertained the concept.
Not wanting to come on too fast or too strong, she'll probably be fairly hesitant to come right out and say she'd like to be your girlfriend or that she thinks that it's time you moved in together. Make it easy on her by being honest and clear about your feelings and intentions. If you're not quite ready to pledge monogamy, say so, but tell her that you think it's a big step, something you don't want to take lightly.
Ask for some time to think about it. Never make a commitment that you're not willing to follow through on. If you're not done playing the field, don't give the impression that you are. It will only lead to heartbreak.
