1. Begin with your mind set and perceptions.
Reality is shaped by our perceptions and beliefs. Two people in the same environment will interpret the world very differently. Does a sunny day make you drone solemnly, run indoors and wish for cooler weather?
Or does it make you look forward to romantic picnics, afternoons at the beach and hiatuses from work? Same day … very different outlooks. In the same fashion, you are in complete control of how you perceive yourself. Your self-image manifests itself physically and emotionally. Generally, people will see you as you want to be seen.
How many women do you know who light up a room just by walking into it? Chances you're one of them. Ask people to describe someone like you and they use words like confident, energetic, positive, good-natured, and intelligent. You can't buy these traits in a store. They come though facing life head on, using positive affirmations and by proactively surrounding yourself with ideas and information that challenges, motivates and inspires you.
Sure, everyone has days where they just want to be alone. But by focusing on the upside to every opportunity and surrounding yourself with people who strive to do the same, your internal beauty will express itself in everything you do.
External beauty is fleeting. In a single breath it's gone from you forever. When it's gone, the real you has a chance to be seen. The loving, sensual, freckled you. The feeling, honest, fractured you. In the final analysis, physical beauty alone lacks the true majesty of a complete person who likes, loves and respects themselves.
2. Spend some time with people who appreciate you just the way you are.
It's mind boggling to me that so many women go to such great lengths trying to look like, talk like or act like someone completely different from who they really are.
Whether you're single or currently in a relationship, you need to be comfortable being real around others. It does you and your lovers no good to be anything anyone other than who you really are.
The key is to practice being who you are around men and women who won't judge you, ridicule you or expect you to put on a show.
Through my work as a natural healer, I've seen and worked on women of all body types. Each client is beautiful and unique just as she is.
Healing Touch sessions are emotionally therapeutic because they allow you to get comfortable having fun again without the pressures of intimacy. Healing Touch, Reiki and body awareness sessions also allow you to practice connecting with others, and just being yourself -- subtle dysfunctions included.
3. Compare yourself to you.
Many individuals spend their existence trying to emulate someone else. We live in a world of comparisons. Ironically, though, every person on this planet is different mentally, physically and emotionally (even identical twins).
So why tear the pages from a fashion magazine because you want to look "just like the person in the magazine"? There can only be one Tyra Banks, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba or Michele Pfeiffer. Rather than wishing for a celebrity's hair, skin, clothing or bust size, celebrate your individuality.
You say your hips are too big or your legs are too thick? Compared to who? You say you have too many freckles or that your eyes aren't the "right" color? What universal law spells out the exact level of skin pigmentation or the optimal gene for blue eyes?
At the end of the day and there is no one in the room but you, then and only then, is the correct number of people present to determine whether you're gorgeous or not. There's really no such thing as a Plain Jane.
4. When selecting your wardrobe and accessories, stick with timeless essentials.
Women's fashion is a torturous affair. Keeping up with the last trends and fads can drive you mad and max out your credit card -- fast. One of the secrets to perennial beauty is to simply drop out of the fad marathon. Fill your closet with clothing that seldom goes out of style.
Additionally, invest in apparel that is well-made so that you never have to be torn between wearing an outfit that you paid too much for or tossing it.
Instead of hunting after the hottest designers, focus on how well the outfit compliments your features. Shop for quality by checking for uneven seams, hems and poorly constructed zippers. Test for wrinkle resistance and to see how well you can bend and function normally in your clothing.
Be honest with yourself. If you've gained a few inches since high school or college, so what? Bypass the too tight size six and get the better looking, and more comfortable ten. If those heels hurt when you try them on, chances are they'll always hurt.
No one else will have to endure the pain but you. And don't rationalize by how long you'll have to stand in the shoes either. It isn't worth it. It stands to reason that since beauty is more dependent upon how you feel, invest in clothing and accessories that makes you feel good.
5. Nourish your body, mind and soul.
I especially admire women who refrain from painting their faces in layers. It strikes me as a low self-esteem issue when women have to hide behind an inch of foundation, layers of lip goo, painted on eyebrows and half a tub of wrinkle concealer before walking out the front door.
Instead, it seems the best approach revolves around a little foundation, a light blush and a subtle lip gloss for even the fanciest occasions.
Invest in natural conditioners and moisturizers to keep your hair healthy and your skin supple. Clear skin is a much better alternative to caking your face and clogging your pores with makeup to hide pesky pimples. Rather than masking your innate beauty, use makeup sparingly to compliment your natural features.
We've all heard the popular saying, "Garbage in, garbage out." Keep this perennial truth in mind. The body tries to create a sense of balance by processing water and nutrients and eliminating harmful or unnatural materials.
The body takes whatever steps necessary to eliminate dirt, bacteria, useless fats and oils and excessive sugars and additives. Pimples, blotches, blackheads, warts and infections are often the by-products of poor body maintenance.
Next time you pull into your favourite fast-food place think how what your body will have to go through to deal with that greasy burger, fried chicken or poor excuse for a burrito.
Drink water instead of soda or sugar-laden fruit juices. Eliminate the majority of sugar from your diet. Even the artificial sweeteners have been shown to cause depression, anxiety, acne, word-recall problems and poisoning on a cellular level.
Exercise religiously. Walking burns fat calories wonderfully. If you're looking for a way to eliminate the appearance of cellulite then a targeted exercise program may be perfect.
Another way to burn calories includes frequent lovemaking (or lust making) sessions. Sex is also a mood enhancer and a great way to let go of anxiety or stress.
You should also find ways to laugh a lot. 100 hearty laughs has the same effect of 30 minutes of strenuous rowing.
Get into a regular massage or healing touch routine. Massage is awesome because it gives you a drug-free way to stay healthy, happy and focused. I suggest twice a month if you're experiencing higher than average stress or body pain.
A once a week session is also good to reconnect your body and soul and to help you to jumpstart the healing process necessary to enter into strong relationships.
Scheduling at least one 90-minute full body session a month is a decent way to manage your stress, escape from the craziness of the world, and keep your energy channels open.
All of these activities stimulate the production of seratonin and endorphins. High seratonin levels thwart the effects of depression. Exercise anyway you can get it. Doing so keeps your heart healthy, your mind clear and your waistline in control.
Enhance your nutritional intake with a daily vitamin routine. Men and women alike are generally too hurried to find the time to eat everything necessary to get the proper dosage of natural vitamins.
Your body is your temple; be mindful of what you expose it to. That includes the people you let near it, and the food, drugs and drink you put into it.
Twenty years from now, your body will reflect those days of tanning without sunscreen, drinking the appletinis every night at the club, or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. It's your body, respect it.
Finally, read daily. Limit your exposure to the gossip mags and tabloids. Visit a bookstore or library and find a book on a subject you're deeply interested in. Share what you learn with others.
Keep reading (yes...audiobooks are great too), every day, for at least 20 minutes. Find time to be alone. Even if it's in your car, or in the bathroom, or alone in your cubicle. Silence is one of the most healing melodies in the world.
For your spiritual growth, study the sacred texts of various faiths and come to your own conclusions. Let your words and actions be the primary tools used to model and communicate your value systems.
Communicate with the Creator daily. The Creator is accessible 24/7 to every person. No intermediaries need be present to converse with the universe and ask for wisdom, protection and discipline.
6. Learn to smile.
In a recent study, men and women of all age demographics were asked what makes someone beautiful. An overwhelming majority responded that above all else, it was a great smile. Try it more often and you'll find your own self-image improving as well.
You'll work less too. Research shows that it takes twice as much energy to frown than to crack a smile. Next in the survey responses came personality, sense of humour and approachability.
Don't let anyone tell you that beauty comes in a vial of cream, syringe, tablet or a tube of lipstick. That $600 dress, though flattering, does not make you attractive.
Rather, your spirit and passion are the true litmus for beauty. As you successfully navigate your way through another hectic day of workplace and household pressures, look into the mirror and see yourself as the beautiful woman you already are.
And for an even clearer vision, stare into the eyes of your loved ones and behold the difference that your presence in their lives has made. Surround yourself with positive influences. Listen to your internal voice. You are beautiful. You are desirable. You are unique. You are special!
