Role conditioning goes deep – so it may still sound odd when Dad cooks supper and Mum goes off on a business trip. But why should it – and how do we change it?
Many of us, though we pay lip service to the idea of
equality of the sexes, remain secretly convinced that there are certain jobs
more suited to men, for example, or character traits which belong essentially
to women. But in fact there are few jobs which the right women cannot perform
equally well and few aspects of personality which strictly are the prerogative
of one sex alone.
We are really all conditioned in our views of what is
masculine and feminine by the society we live in. But there is nothing
inherently male or female about most roles, except the sexual ones and that of
giving birth and feeding a baby. In some tribes in New Guinea, for example, the
men are expected to stay at home and care for the children while the women go
to work in the fields.
In recent years, the strict division between male and female
roles has begun to work within marriage and even while bringing up children.
But, unless both partners have given great thought to their arrangements there
is a danger that both will feel guilty or resentful about their role rather
than enriched.
A woman brought up from a little girl to see marriage and children
as her main role in life may deliberately restrict her progress at work even
though she is talented. She has not been led to expect a successful career and
is grateful to be working at all. However, this does not mean she will not feel
dissatisfied with herself and the life she leads.
In the same way, a man who has been brought up to believe
that a successful career is all important and that housework and children are a
woman’s responsibility, will have difficulty in adapting to the demands made on
him by a working wife. He may see himself as doing a great favor rather than
welcoming the opportunity to develop a different side of his personality.
Discouraging Sexual
Stereotypes
As parents, we can do much to encourage flexible attitudes
in our children that will give them greater freedom in adult life. We often
channel small children into so-called male or female roles without realizing
it. But we all have many aspects to our personality. The more we can develop
the various sides, whether at work, home or leisure, the more balanced and
fulfilled we become.
Encourage all your children, whether boys of girls, to be
curious and independent as well as thoughtful and caring. They should feel confident
about exploring or learning about anything that interest them, whether it is horses,
or sewing, climbing trees or dancing, without being concerned as to whether it
is a masculine or feminine thing to do.
Parents who encourage their children to think and behave in
this way are helping them to escape from the limitations imposed by sexual
stereotyping of previous generations.
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