What Is Gender Based Violence

Gender-based violence is a phenomenon that is growing worldwide. In general terms, one would expect that gender-based violence would be rife in developing countries. It is true. But, what is shocking is that it is also rife in developed countries.

It is significant that as early as 1993 the UN adopted a resolution that defines gender-based violence as “Any act of gender violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm to women or men, including threats to such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivations of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life”.

This is a mouthful and very technically of nature. But, the World Health Organization was able to provide a more straight forwarded and understandable definition of gender-based violence namely, it is violence directed against a person on the basis of gender or sex. It includes acts that inflict physical, mental or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion and other deprivations of liberty.

The forms of gender-based violence can take on different forms throughout the world and can also be cultural or religious based. The most common forms are:

·         Domestic violence which is common in any country on earth

·         Sexual violence, which may include sexual abuse and rape.

·         Forced prostitution

·         Sexual exploitation of women but especially young girls

·         Female genital mutilation

·         Honour killings

·         Human trafficking

·         Forced marriage

·         Widow cleansing

Here are some disturbing facts relating to gender-based violence:

v  Men are guiltier of acts of gender-based violence than women are but men are also victims thereof. It seems men suffering from domestic violence are also growing, or maybe it was always there. May be men are nowadays more likely to disclose such incidents than previously

v  Women and girls are the most frequent victims of violence within the confinements of families or between intimates

v  Women and girls are most at risk from men they know. Recent years also brought forward in all its ugliness the phenomenon of date-rape

v  Wife abuse and sexual coercion cross-cuts cultural, economic  and religious barriers

v  Physical abuse in intimate relationships is almost accompanied by severe psychological and verbal abuse and often sexual abuse

v  Believe it or not, but almost universally, the response of professionals and social institutions is to blame the victim

v  Gender-based abuse can have long-term mental and physical health consequences

The physical and mental consequences of gender-based violence are well known but few people realize that it also has far-reaching socio-economic consequences. Participation in the labour force and economic welfare is limited and hampered by violence. The reason is that it leads to decreased production and increased absence from work. It is also significant that many employers are ignorant towards the phenomenon of gender-based violence and does not know how to deal with it. Subsequently many victims of this type of violence lose their jobs due to this ignorance. A subsequent development of a low self-esteem also weakens performance.

However, the indirect costs are also astronomical. The economic cost of gender-based violence totals about $385 million per year in Colombia, Canada. This figure is based on government expenditures only, not counting costs of health, care, child services, housing, legal costs, and court costs.

Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix solution to the problem. It must also be taken into account that any economic recession may aggravate the situation and lead to an escalation of violence, especially domestic violence and forced prostitution.

However, it can be addressed. We do not need violence in our lives because it does not solve any problems.

Let us love one another enough to protect each other.

Daniel

Tips for Planning Meals for the Family

Next time you sit down for a lovely family meal; spare a thought or two for the woman behind the meal.

To ensure at least three meals a day that will suit all taste buds and preferences and still be of nutritional value for the entire family, is not easy.

This article is therefore dedicated to the women who day in and day out, had to cater for the families’ meals and meal plans with some tips to lessen their burden.

1.       Turn menu planning into a family project. Task family members to assist with providing a list of their favourite dishes, then compile menus using these lists. When given a chance to participate, people enjoy their meals more and maybe will complain less.

2.       Perk up your dinners by serving your family a new dish each week if possible. Exchange recipes with friends and neighbours; check food sections of magazines and newspapers and do not forget the many recipe sites and blogs.

3.       Change your meal pattern. Instead of the same old routine – meat, potatoes, and green vegetables for dinner every day – serve a hearty soup, an unusual casserole, or a main-dish salad.

4.       Notice what your family enjoys at restaurants. Consult your recipes and try to create similar dishes at home.

5.       Vary the shape, colours, and textures of vegetables. For example, mashed potatoes make a nice contrast to Brussels sprouts, or green beans to carrots.

6.       To add interest to a soft-textured meal, serve crunchy vegetables or crusty bread.

7.       Serve something other than rice or potatoes to accompany gravies and sauces. Try barley or pasta.

8.       When serving leftover meat or fish, don’t just reheat it. Instead, prepare it in a different form. For example, mince it and shape it into patties, dice it for casseroles, or slice it thin and add it to stir-fry dishes or to a tasty sauce.

Daniel

A Brief Discussion on Reflexology

Give some thought on the tough role your feet have to play. It is amazing the burden they have to carry in relation to their structure. So, occasionally treat them with a nice massage.

Have you ever heard of a tired person saying, “my feet are killing me”? Many times somebody is saying this to make a point of how tired they are. But have you ever give a thought for your feet? If feet could talk, they would probably say, “my owner is killing me.”

The feet are the hardest working entities of a person’s body and by that, it is meant physical working. How many people are not for the entire working day on their feet? – think about the police officer patrolling, a schoolteacher, a prison guard also patrolling, the athlete running the Boston Marathon, etc. So give a thought to your feet also. You take care of your heart, stomach, hands, nails, etc. but what do you do for your feet?

Feet are actually fabulous. Think of their size in relation to the rest of the body and the body’s weight. But luckily, there is something to spoil you feet with to show your appreciation for all their hard work. The answer lies in reflexology. Reflexology is the science of massaging the feet.

The feet are divided into zones, which represent the entire body. Massaging the nerve endings, which are, situated at the bottom of the feet triggers off a response in the body. Thorough stimulation of all reflex areas of the feet stress and tension is reduced. Reflexology is nothing new; it is coming from ancient times when people were still going bare-feet, as shoes were not yet invented. Walking bare-feet caused the reflex areas of the feet been massaged by the uneven and rough surfaces people had to walk on.

With the coming of the new ages and the invention of shoes people realized that they were not that relaxed after a day’s work as previously the case was and that is where reflexology started. Now feet had to be massaged manually and it was realized it did work and that is where therapeutic reflexology came in.

A person skilled in applying reflexology is able to stimulate an entire foot by using special thumb, finger, and hand techniques. This specific pressure and the energy generated by the hands create a physiological response or reflex in the body, which stimulates circulation, nerve connections, and energy pathways that extend from the feet to the rest of the body. This process encourages a state of balance. Although, the aim is to treat tired feet, the entire body is actually treated. Even in their tired state, they still care for the entire body!

With reflexology, the body parts are reflected in miniature detail on the feet, with the front of the body on the soles and the back of the body on the top of the feet. The zones are as follows:

·         The toes reflect the head

·         The balls of the feet reflect the rib cage

·         The fleshy instep of the foot reflects the soft abdomen

·         The firm heel reflects the pelvic bone

·         The ankle bone reflects the hip bone

·         The bony ridge on the inside of the foot reflects the spine

A reflexologist is trained to massage these reflexes using various techniques.

It is actually marvellous to think that the hard working feet represent a microcosm of the entire body and that it is the gateway of treating the entire body. It is a good reason to put your best foot first!

Next time, before you accuse your feet of killing you, thank them for assisting you to keep your body healthy!

Tips for Cleaning Up All Your Clutter

It is human to hoard. People hoard mostly for two reasons; we value earthly possessions and the more we have the happier we are; and we cling to things because there is always the possibility that we may need it sometime or the other.

Sometimes it is a pity that people spend their whole lives collecting things and cling to it for dear life until the day they have to move home. Then it is a traumatic experience to realize all is or was in vain – the majority of your possessions are nothing more than clutter!

Here are some tips to avoid this traumatic experience:

1. Top of the list is to go through your house periodically, eliminating items you no longer want or you no longer use.

2. Always start clearing up the clutter from the outside in. This means that you must take care of the clutter in a room or living area before digging into your storage places.

3. Once you are finished with your living areas work out a schedule to work on each individual storage place. Best is to schedule at least one hour a day for ‘quality’ time of cleaning up. When the hour is finish, stop and continue with other scheduled chores.

4. To ensure that items are genuinely considered and not just rearranged within the storage places, obtain 4 large containers and classify each container with a label of the eventual disposal of each item; for instance ‘for charity’, ‘for garbage’, ‘belongs to someone else’ (children or family) and ‘decision pending’.

5. Within the time scheduled for each day, only tackle a small portion of the storage area and do not empty the storage of all clutter at once. This will lead to chaos and definitely to demotivation to continue.

6.  Many people shun from clearing up clutter because they cannot bear to throw things away. To overcome this, donate it to charity; at least you will feel better because the underprivileged will enjoy it.

As motivation for this dreadful task of cleaning up clutter, the following food for thought: For every item cleaned-up, a vacancy is created for bringing something new into your house!

Book Review: Theodore Boone by John Grisham

How to Ensure the Best Wedding Reception Ever

All of us have seen the movie “Father of the Bride.” (If not, it is a must see.)  The sympathy is with the father who had to cough up for a wedding reception he actually cannot afford and some of the consequences of his endeavours to cut costs are hilarious.

But, have a thought for every bride to be. Every woman always dream of the perfect wedding with the idealistic picture in the mind of how the reception is supposed to be. However, as time arrive for arranging the big day; things can turn out not so idealistic. Things are expensive and irrespective who pays for it; it will always be a tight budget.

Things become crazy and everyone is stressed up wanting everything to be perfect but wondering how to pay for it all. Often you hear people philosophising whether it won’t be better to take all the money that will go into a reception, skip it and invest it in a future house or other asset for the newlyweds. There is even a school of thought that say the guests are the only ones who benefit from a reception.

Whatever the situation may be, a wedding reception does not have to be a nightmare and actually, it is supposed to be a wonderful event and memento for the bride and groom (and for the father of the bride!) 

Here are some tips:

1. A wedding reception should not put you in debt. Debt is not a good way to start a new life with the person you love – then it is better to skip the reception!

2. It is your reception; do not worry about pleasing guests. They are supposed to be there to share in your special day, not to criticize the food or complain about it.

3. Cut all the extras and you cut the expenses. For example, is it genuine necessary to provide each guest with a disposable camera or a small gift as token of appreciation for them attending your wedding?

4. Consider it to have your reception earlier in the day so it won’t be necessary to provide your guests with an expensive dinner. A finger lunch is much cheaper but just as enjoyable.

5. Should you really want to have a late afternoon reception with a dinner then you can still cut some costs by looking for hotel schools or community centres that can provide a good dinner for less. Usually they can provide the entire package (hall, decorations, chairs, tables, etc.) at a special price. You must shop around!

6. Skip the fancy decorations, china and silverware settings. Go for a much cheaper and ordinary setting.

7. There is no need to hire an expensive band or DJ. With modern technology, computers and a decent music centre many students have excellent music skills. They would be eager to do your music for some pocket money.

These are only some tips. Be creative when planning your wedding, reception, and find ways to cut costs. Remember, it is your wedding!

How To Date You Wife

The majority of men spend many hours, days, and even years to date a woman they love. During this period of courtshipping, no stone is left unturned to impress the women of their dreams!

Until they are married. Then, under normal circumstances dating and courtshipping ends there and then. There is no need to stop it. You must keep the spark in your marriage and still show your wife you love here and adore her. But, most importantly that you still care for her.

Here are some tips:

1. Surprise picnic: Many restaurants and catering businesses provide a full picnic service to clients where they provide a picnic basket with all accessories. All you have to do is to provide a blanket, find the ideal picnic spot, and bring your lovely wife. Be adventurous. Do not follow routine and go to your average picnic spot. A man was driving through this upmarket suburb when he saw this mansion with its magnificent gardens and nature surroundings. He stopped and asked permission to bring his wife there for a picnic. The owner was at first reluctant but with a little persuasion he agreed and they had the most wonderful picnic ever!

2. Break-away-weekend: This is always a favourite. Arrange the most perfect break-away-weekend ever. It must be far from the maddening crowd; only you and her. Pack everything for her, arrange a house sitter-cum-baby sitter, pack her overnight bags, and when she returns home from work on the Friday wait for her in the driveway and take her like a knight in shining armour away for the weekend.

3. Camp out in your back-yard: The same scene as the break-away weekend. Take your children to the grandparents or for a sleepover at friends. Put up your tent and arrange for everything. Lock the house for the weekend and wait for her. There in the comfort of your back-yard you can have quality time together.

These three tips can be done, say every three months. But don’t wait too long. Building your marriage and nurturing it is a daily thing. Tell her you love her every day and let it not only be words. Show her you are serious. At least every fortnight, take her out for dinner. No need to be a black-tie occasion. The more informal the more she would appreciate it. Try the fish-and-chipper on the corner – just as good! At least once a week give her flowers. No need for expensive arrangements. One flower picked in your own garden would also be more appreciated. Go out of your way and get the song “I give you a daisy a day dear” and play it to her whenever you have a quiet time together.

Some wise words: 

Listening

Listening and hearing are two different things. When a person is truly listening they not only hear the words, but they feel the emotion behind these words. True communication occurs when someone truly listens and not just hears the words.