There are three stages in any relationship:
1) Attraction
2) Seduction
3) Maintain or Abandon Ship
The attraction stage involves flirting and projecting an attractive image. We play with our hair bit more, use our eyes to attract his attention or appear mysterious and draw his attention to our legs by crossing and uncrossing them. We also take as much care as possible to appear at our best. This is the easy part.
The next stage is when we decide to take things to the next level, usually sexually. We bring out or sexiest lingerie and scent ourselves with the most seductive perfumes and body oils imaginable. From there it doesn't take much hinting to let him know that if he doesn't take you to bed soon, you may direct all that pent up passion in someone else's direction.
3) Finally there is the maintenance or abandon ship stage. This is the area where most of us get into trouble.
Here are the errors in judgment that most of us make:
1) We don't take as much care with our appearance. Think back on the beginning of your relationship. How many times did you wear sweatpants in front of him then?
Are you taking the same amount of time applying your makeup as you did back then? When was the last time you brushed your teeth or had a breath mint before you kissed him?
2) We slack on our exercise routine. When we are trying to attract the love of our lives, we exercise, eat more salads and generally are so infatuated that we forget to eat. At the last stage of a relationship, our gym membership cards seem to get lost and in its place we find Ben and Jerry's and chocolate cake.
3) We forget to keep the mystery in our relationships. Did you actually use the toilet in front of him when you were first dating? Of course not! Don't let yourself get so comfortable that you forget that bodily functions are not the
4) We criticize instead of admiring his best points. In the beginning he was wonderful and I am sure that you told him so. When was the last time you paid him a compliment lately?
Finding a man and seducing him is the easy part, despite our occasional slumps. It is the work that you put in to keeping the seduction, flirtation, mystery and romance that will keep him on board or send him scurrying to abandon ship.
By Caterina Christakos
